Weather

October 24, 2008

Burger-lry

By Staff

I don’t know about the rest of you Gauchos out there, but I am goddamn sick of the Hamburglar. I mean seriously, if I’m eating at McDonald’s, I’m probably already not too happy. And then, all of a...

October 23, 2008

Drum Solo for God

By The Weatherhuman

A guy in Bridgeport, Connecticut broke into a church on Sunday to play a drum solo for God.

October 22, 2008

Hot Famales

By Staff

So I was at a certain sandwich place in I.V., ordering a deliciously thrifty five-dollar footlong, when all of a sudden something catches my eye. Some sorority set up a donation jar for breast cancer (prevention). Proble...

October 21, 2008

Vampire Revenge

By Staff

Two weeks before her wedding, a woman in Iowa was ordered by a judge to keep away from her fiancé after she was charged with domestic abuse. What'd she do, you ask? She bit him. Just clamped her teeth right onto his...

October 16, 2008

Worst. Ticket. Ever.

By The Weatherhuman

A couple from Chicago was slapped with a $9.5 million parking ticket after leaving their car for two hours in Glencoe, Ill.

October 15, 2008

Immaculate Conception

By Staff

A shark in Virginia is reported to have had a “virgin birth.” The lady shark got preggers without doin’ it. Do you all realize what this means? I sure as hell don’t. Are we going to be sharks in o...

October 14, 2008

Eat up, Fatty

By Staff

Richard Cooey, a resident of an Ohio state prison, recently appealed his death sentence for a double rape-murder of college students in 1986. Coey, who is 5'7 and weighs 267 pounds, argued that he is too obese to be put ...

October 13, 2008

Nippy Nuances

By Staff

The blistering cold has returned to Isla Vista. Hurray. As much as I love hardened nipples and being able to keep my beers chilled by simply leaving them in the backyard at night, I hate having to wear a jacket out. You ...

October 10, 2008

It Tingles!

By Staff

Deborah Anderson of Boston University Medical Center was awarded an “Ig Nobel” research prize for discovering that Coca-Cola kills sperm. Apparently, women were using it in contraceptive douches. While it doe...

October 7, 2008

Cartoons are my anti-drug

By Staff

Do you ever go to sleep hoping you'll wake up inside that mind-bending, McDonald's-funded anti-drug film, starring every goddamn cartoon character that's ever graced the silver screen? You know, the one where the Ninja T...

October 6, 2008

Every Little Thing

By The Weatherhuman

The Weathermate and I got in a big fight last week… something about “sleeping with other ‘humans.'” Anyway, in an effort to make it up to the ‘mate, I put together a real nice meal on Saturd...

October 3, 2008

Really Cute.

By Staff

Sarah Palin was so cute in the debates last night. “Can I call ya Joe?” Awwww. You know what else is cute? Tiny cockapoo puppies taking a shit. Tomorrow’s weather: We’re fucked if this woman is al...

September 30, 2008

Fatty Dolphins

By Staff

How do you guys like the Weather this week? Pretty random, eh? Sunny one day, foggy the next, with no real discernable pattern. That's mostly because I'm confused as hell right now. Why? Because even dolphins are going o...

September 26, 2008

15/Undecided/Kansas City

By Staff

There is a certain computer language etiquette that we all learned in high school because AIM convos were are the way to go when it comes to having serious discussions. You spell cool “kewl,” A/S/L means age,...

September 25, 2008

Weather

By The Weatherhuman

Ahhhh, glorious first week.

September 18, 2008

Twenty Questions

By Staff

Today's forecast: Maybe showers? Maybe sunshine? Maybe a whole lot of confusion, because this is the back to school issue? But school doesn't start for a week, right? More question marks? I mean, I'm not going to come ou...