A guy in Bridgeport, Conn. broke into a church on Sunday to play a drum solo for God. Unfortunately, the cops saw this as trespassing and arrested him. This reminds me of the time I broke into 7-Eleven to buy a pop tart, only to realize I didn’t have to break in at all, because it was open 24/7. Damn broken glass.

Thursday’s forecast: AMPM puts 7-Eleven out of business after replacing glass windows with Styrofoam.