A couple from Chicago was slapped with a $9.5 million parking ticket after leaving their car for two hours in Glencoe, Ill. That’s like winning the lottery, but not quite as exciting, because it’s a parking ticket. It said on the ticket to avoid sending cash, which quite frankly, I find absurd. If you’ve got the audacity to ticket someone $9.5 million, you might as well demand cash. That way you can fill up your house with gold coins like Uncle Scrooge and swim in it. Though, my physics professor once told me that’s not possible.

Thursday’s Forecast: High chance you won’t get ticketed. It’s just like the old saying says: “The safest time to park is the day after a $9.5 million parking ticket.”