Emma Demorest

Emma Demorest is the editor of Nexustentialism. She once licked the largest wooden yoyo in the world.

July 2, 2019

Summer Reading List: Isla Vista Edition

By Emma Demorest

We’ve all heard it said that there’s nothing like a summer in Isla Vista. However, some Gauchos would rather skurt after turning in their last blue book and return to their hometown, feeling obligated to connect with...

May 24, 2019

Weekly Spotlight: Storke Tower Ducklings

By Emma Demorest

It is with much delight that the Nexus presents the recipients of this week’s character spotlight: the Storke Plaza ducklings! These nine little angels have graced Storke Plaza pond with their lovely little quacks for ...

April 1, 2019

UCSB Establishes Bike School for Student Bikers Prone to Accidents

By Emma Demorest

An influx of horrific bike accidents (in which many took to Free & For Sale to voice their grievances and describe the gory details of their injuries) has prompted local UCPD to implement the W.E.A.K. program, Wheels for...

January 24, 2019

Why Bus Rides Are My Favorite Part of UCSB Culture

By Emma Demorest

Sure, UCSB has a lot of great features — the beach, our revered chancellor, that oatmeal they sometimes serve at Portola — but my favorite thing is the bus. There is nothing I love more than standing with 30 other so...

November 27, 2018

Choose Your Fighter: Section Edition

By Emma Demorest

Section classmates — we all know them, we all love and/or hate them. We’re all forced to spend 50 minutes once a week with them at some point in our undergraduate careers.

October 26, 2018

Spooky! Third-year Bryce Smith’s Jersey Duvet Hasn’t Been Washed Since Quarter 1 Year 1!

By Emma Demorest

Ghouls and witches beware! There is something much scarier creeping upon us this Halloween season.

September 21, 2018

Local Catcaller To Take Leave of Absence After Recently Learning None of the Women He Harasses Actually Want His Dick

By Emma Demorest

In what has so far been a trying week, local catcaller Steven Johnson released a statement on Monday declaring that he would be taking a personal leave after word broke that none of the women he harasses actually want hi...

June 7, 2018

Senior Woman Has One Week Left to Find Provider

By Emma Demorest

Sidney Davis, a fourth-year economics major, became stressed this week at the realization that she is about to graduate without being in a stable heterosexual relationship that could end in marriage.

June 4, 2018

127 minutes: This student’s arm was stuck under her Hookup’s sleeping body

By Emma Demorest

Second-year Eden Whisman this week is being hailed a hero after surviving 127 grueling minutes pinned under the sleeping body of her weekend hookup.

May 15, 2018

Nexustential Crisis: How to Beer Die Bro

By Emma Demorest, Vianna Mabanag

An exclusive look into the secret life of beer die bros from the genius journalists of Nexustentialism!

April 10, 2018

Amazing! UCSB Student Claims She’s Confident Enough To Wear Low-Rise Jeans!

By Emma Demorest

Readers will remember low rise jeans as the “it-jean” of the early 2000s.

March 9, 2018

Confused First Year Thought He’d Have More Sex By Now

By Emma Demorest

Flynn really thought this would be “his year”, as far as sexual escapades go.

February 12, 2018

Student Wary of Cuffing Season Preemptively Cuffs Self

By Emma Demorest

Martinez has gone so far as to cuff herself before anyone else gets the chance.

January 23, 2018

Sad! Thousands of New Year’s Resolutions Left Abandoned on Streets of DP

By Emma Demorest

Sadly, this is an annual occurrence.

November 16, 2017

Emma’s Mom Rates Best Places To Go in I.V.

By Emma Demorest

With parent’s weekend having just passed, we know the reality has hit that you have no clue what to do when parents come visiting. Fear not: Nexustentialism is here to help. And, never one for an unvetted story, we’v...