Nexustentialism

It's satire, stupid.

12 Romantic Dates on an Isla Vista Budget

April 9, 2016 by

This weekend, treat your special someone to something special while only exerting minimal effort!
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Keeping Your Frat Meter Filled at the Homestead

April 6, 2016 by

Your OG residence may feel like being in a jail cell on a dry campus, but that doesn’t mean you can’t get lit.
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IVFP to Ramp Up Security at Deltopia

April 1, 2016 by

When news broke that horse-mounted police would not be used at this year's Deltopia festivities, it was met with excitement from local students. However, this apparent détente may be short-lived...
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What Kind of Roommate Are You?

March 30, 2016 by

Spring Quarter's here and it’s time to ask a few of the important questions: Can I take less units and still (kinda) graduate on time? Is Gaucho Ball exercise? And, what kind of roommate am I?
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Dangerous New Drinking Game Uncovered in IV

March 18, 2016 by

On March 17, 2016, Santa Barbara Police and Fire responded to a number of 911 calls on the 67 block of Del Playa. As a result of one such call, an unnamed student was transferred to Cottage Hospital a...
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Thoughts We Have During Finals Week

March 15, 2016 by

It’s finally finals week and let’s be real, you’re just one Top Ramen meal away from internal combustion. You’re faced with final papers and studying you should've started a week ago, your min...
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Dementor Invasion Results in Unusual I.V. Weather

March 11, 2016 by

Rain, fog and evil spirits bring a new meaning to Dead Week.
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Essential New Vocab for Staying Fresh with the Youths

March 9, 2016 by

Bae is hella af when you're fleeking in the trap!1!
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The Official Drunchies Drunkenness Scale

March 4, 2016 by

The only reason you remember getting Freebs is because you saw your nachos again the next morning.
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If the Presidential Election was like ‘The Bachelor’

March 1, 2016 by

With Super Tuesday upon us and The Bachelor coming to a close, Erin Lubitz looks at how these two tales of yelling, foreign policy knowledge, and valor aren't really that different after all.
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Leaked From the Future: Leo’s Best Actor Acceptance Speech

February 28, 2016 by

"I mean, after all this time … after all this time … you bastards finally gave me an Oscar."
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The Tipsy Academy Awards: Drink Your Way Through the Oscars

February 28, 2016 by

#Oscarssowhite we can't get through them without hard liquor
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You Think You Know Kanye?

February 26, 2016 by

 
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One Wild Night in SLO

February 24, 2016 by

This past weekend, I traveled to the most inferior of the Central California universities: Cal Poly San Luis Obispo.
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In-N-Out to Shut Down Nationwide, Relief Efforts to Follow

February 18, 2016 by

In-N-Out’s co-assistant branch manager of business relations, Chip Skylar, headed a press conference Monday to break the news that In-N-Out would be closing all of its 300-plus locations, effective ...
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