The Weatherhuman

January 11, 2008

High on Not Working

By The Weatherhuman

You probably didn't know this, but my column is constrained by a character count.

January 10, 2008

Name Game

By The Weatherhuman

I usually have no pity for the kids of Francisco Torres - in fact I may or may not be one of the people who drives by and yells "Fuck FT!"

January 9, 2008

Pegged for Cheapness

By The Weatherhuman

I saw a story yesterday about a guy who moved into a New Jersey Ikea after his apartment had to be fumigated.

January 7, 2008

Strip No-Show

By The Weatherhuman

I've always loved that "Welcome Back to I.V" moment on the drive into town.

December 3, 2007

Catnipped

By The Weatherhuman

A woman in Tennessee claims that her cat survived 19 days with its head stuck in a peanut butter jar.

November 30, 2007

Does Anyone Smell Bacon?

By The Weatherhuman

It amazes me that people continue to bike through that crosswalk on the way to the Rec Cen even though there's like eight signs explaining how its against the law and you face a hefty fine.

November 29, 2007

Dr. Death

By The Weatherhuman

Not to support terrorism or anything, but I really don't agree with the fact that a doctor was sentenced to 25 years in prison for allegedly conspiring to help treat injured al-Qaida fighters.

November 27, 2007

Bank Error in Your Favor, Collect $200

By The Weatherhuman

The traditional Weatherfamily Thanksgiving Monopoly game turned ugly this year, which isn't surprising since I've never played that game without it getting contentious.

November 26, 2007

Quitting Cold Turkey

By The Weatherhuman

Midway through my Thanksgiving meal, my cousin decided to inform me that he had seen a 68-pound turkey the night before.

November 21, 2007

“The ‘Human Smothers You in Gravy”

By The Weatherhuman

There's nothing funny about a holiday that exploits Native Americans and leads to increased obesity in a country that is already far too fat.

November 20, 2007

You’re in My Seat, Jackass

By The Weatherhuman

I know we don't have seating charts in college, but as far as I'm concerned, there's an unwritten rule about where you can sit in lectures.

November 19, 2007

Weather

By The Weatherhuman

Whoa, whoa, whoa! The CIA was on campus recruiting students last week and they DIDN'T stop by my office?

November 15, 2007

Weather

By The Weatherhuman

For a while now I've been confused about why Congress is spending so much time debating the merits of waterboarding.

November 13, 2007

Weather

By The Weatherhuman

Some attention-starved city councilman in New York has declared war on the city's pigeon population, calling for fines for people who feed pigeons, as well as trained hawks to scare the birds away.

November 9, 2007