A woman in Tennessee claims that her cat survived 19 days with its head stuck in a peanut
butter jar. Apparently every time she tried to catch the cat, it would run away and hide
for days. I think the conventional view here would be to pity the poor cat, but I’m gonna
go the other way on this one: this cat is clearly the stupidest cat alive. God forbid I
ever get my head stuck in a jar, but if I do, I’m certainly not gonna hide. I’d be
looking for someone with a hammer and I’d be doing it fast.
Catnipped
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Aries
March 21 - April 19
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Taurus
April 20 - May 20
“dusty rusty crusty musty ass california hills”
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May 21 - June 20
“frowning in plaid (haunted radios, bird bones + anthropomorphized wind)”
Cancer
June 21 - July 22
“warming my hands on bridges i’ve burnt”
Leo
July 23 - August 22
“songs that make me see god”
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August 23 - September 22
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October 23 - November 21
“90s heroin chic model off duty”
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December 22 - January 19
“not my circus, not my monkeys”
Aquarius
January 20 - February 18
“a grave is probably cheaper than an apartment”
Pisces
February 19 - March 20
“ATE THESE BITCHES LEFT NO CRUMBS / DID IT IN DESIGNER PUMPS”
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It’s a cat, not a person; it is not surprising it didn’t go looking for a hammer. I would hope you would employ better reasoning than a cat if you had a jar on your head, however, I wouldn’t be surprised if you just came to the conclusion that looking to remove the jar is a better course of action than hiding for a few days.