Confused First Year Thought He’d Have More Sex By Now

Flynn really thought this would be “his year”, as far as sexual escapades go.
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Student Wary of Cuffing Season Preemptively Cuffs Self

Martinez has gone so far as to cuff herself before anyone else gets the chance.
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Sad! Thousands of New Year’s Resolutions Left Abandoned on Streets of DP

Sadly, this is an annual occurrence.
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Emma’s Mom Rates Best Places To Go in I.V.

With parent’s weekend having just passed, we know the reality has hit that you have no clue what to do when parents come visiting. Fear not: Nexustentialism is here to help. And, never one for an un...
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Third-Year Dan Nutmeg Identified as Student Consistently Coughing in Your Lecture

They said it couldn’t be done, but that one guy always coughing in your lectures has finally been identified as third-year biology major Dan Nutmeg.
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