Weather

The Annoying Has Become the Hunted

January 23, 2002 by

Angry nocturnal elephants roam in my neighborhood.
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Keep Your Arms Inside the Car

January 22, 2002 by

I honored Dr. King yesterday with a trip to every meteorologists' favorite theme park, Weather World.
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12:00

January 18, 2002 by

What To Do When I.V. Blacks Out Like A 120-pound Sorostitute Who’s Drank An Entire Bottle of GHB-Laced Bacardi 151: 1) Stop studying. You cannot study in the dark. 2) Call friends and carefully ...
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Is That Your Final Answer?

January 17, 2002 by

I figured out how to pay off the weatherloans.
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Lecture Hall Hygiene

January 16, 2002 by

There is no polite way to tell someone their stench is suffocating.
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The Cart of Darkness

January 14, 2002 by

There are many professions which deal with the dark aspects of humanity: doctors, divorce lawyers and journalists are just a few.
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They’re a Deal at $130.

January 14, 2002 by

Sneakers reached the limits of tasteful, sensible design in the late eighties. Since then sneakers have splintered into the cross trainer, the tennis shoe, the basketball shoe ...
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Bwaaaa!

January 11, 2002 by

The WeatherNeighbor got too drunk at the WeatherPad last night and awoke this morning with a wicked hangover. She ran to the bathroom to vomit, but one of the WeatherHousemates was already in there ta...
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Plover Porno

January 10, 2002 by

Plovers are chubby chasers. That is why most of Sands Beach is closed off. Too much exercise kills the erotic tension on the beach, destroying the plover’s natural chunky love. Flying, running o...
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Living With a Hernia

January 9, 2002 by

The weatherpet is not a young guinea pig. He was confronted with this fact over Winter Break: one minute he was kicking and punching with Billy Blanks, the next he was futilely grasping at his side. T...
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A Sight as Lovely as a ‘Shroom

January 8, 2002 by

I intend to resurrect the art of journalistic prose.
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Weather Geek

January 7, 2002 by

As the rest of skied and ate turkey this holiday season some of us here at the Nexus were working hard. Managing Editor Curtis Brainard mucked out 30 years of Nexus funk. I was in the library working ...
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Weather: To the Battle-Hardened

November 30, 2001 by

Congratulations, you made it! The end of week 10! Just a Dead Week and some tests left. Let me guess: the days took eons, but the weeks went by in a flash. Let me guess: You didn’t study, but yo...
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Barraging the Brussel Sprout Barricades

November 30, 2001 by

The weatherpet is a vegan
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In Memory: El Canario (1988 – 2001)

November 29, 2001 by

The weatherbike was stolen last week. It was parked, whistling cheerfully at passerby in its bright, yellow fashion. The weatherbike was always cheerful, even when it lost its handlebars and the brake...
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