Weather

July 15, 2009

Sweet, Slightly Expired, Revenge

By The Weatherhuman

Fed up with your roommate? Seeking sweet, subtle revenge? Well before you dust off that can of rat poison, I offer you a more clever, albeit less legitimate suggestion: Offer to do their grocery shopping, and do it at Ke...

June 23, 2009

Natural Selection

By The Weatherhuman

So how bout them skateboard paths, eh? Pretty neat. Also, they’re just in time for the summer newbie rush. That means unsuspecting young’ns and their equally oblivious (and less mobile) parents will be in for...

June 4, 2009

The End of a Reign

By The Weatherhuman

So this is it: the last weather of the year. I have so much to say, and so little space, so I guess I won't say much of anything.

June 1, 2009

Dead Week?

By The Weatherhuman

Calling week 10 "Dead Week" is the second-most misleading thing I've been told since coming to UCSB.

May 28, 2009

The Mush Pot

By The Weatherhuman

What do you think of Duck, Duck, Goose as a drinking game? It seems like the probability of spilling would be pretty high… and the rules of when to drink don’t exactly seem very clear-cut… fuck. I just ...

May 27, 2009

My Reflection

By The Weatherhuman

You know when there's a glass door, and right as you come up to it you get a look at your own reflection? Then you're like, "Damn, that is one good-looking reflection." Yeah, you know what I mean. Don't deny it.

May 26, 2009

Real World Dodging

By The Weatherhuman

Holy shit, seniors, graduation’s coming up! What are you going to do with your lives once you leave this bubble and enter the real world? I mean, with the economy in the awesome state it’s in, the job search ...

May 21, 2009

Skater Boy

By The Weatherhuman

Is it just me, or do most girls riding skateboards look like a) they’re trying to achieve liftoff, or b) they would be more at home on a Razor scooter? Most of them aren’t going more than a few yards per hour...

May 20, 2009

The Coolest of Crimes

By The Weatherhuman

What I'm about to say defies all of my liberal sensibilities, but it needs to be said.

May 19, 2009

Hipsternomics

By The Weatherhuman

Do you have a ringback tone? If yes, is it actually a good song, or are you just being ironic and playing classical music or the JoBros?

May 18, 2009

Nihilism and Nursery Rhymes

By The Weatherhuman

Today: Literary analysis Row, row, row your boat -- an obvious reference to the plight of the workingman.

May 14, 2009

Caution: Wet Cement

By The Weatherhuman

Today I'm going to get on my soap box real quick, because something's bugging me.

May 13, 2009

The Honeymoon Is Over

By The Weatherhuman

So, Mackenzie Weinger is our new editor in chief. I've accepted that. But I'm so sick and tired of this damn honeymoon.

May 12, 2009

Standards are for Chumps

By The Weatherhuman

Guys, why is it we drink Natty? Same goes for you, Keystone drinkers.

May 11, 2009

Much Ado about Floating

By The Weatherhuman

Man, how crazy was Floatopia 2? No, seriously, how crazy was it? I wasn’t there. What’s that you say? Why, you weren’t either? Hmm… It’s almost as though nobody actually went. Either the eme...

May 7, 2009

I’ll Be Back

By The Weatherhuman

(To the tune of “The Sound of Music”) The hills are alive, with the smell of ashes With some help from the heat, and the weather sunny The hills fill my lungs, with clouds of deadly smoke But my joke likely f...