Man, how crazy was Floatopia 2? No, seriously, how crazy was it? I wasn’t there. What’s that you say? Why, you weren’t either? Hmm… It’s almost as though nobody actually went. Either the emergency reactionary beach-drinking ban worked and stopped thousands of already illegally drinking minors from continuing to drink illegally, or this was all much ado about nothing. I have my guess.

Tomorrow’s forecast: The ordinance is hailed as a great success, paving the way for future “no fun” legislation from our brilliant supervisors. Wonderful.