Weather

October 15, 2001

Iron Guinea Pig

By Staff

I am teaching the weatherpet self-defense.

October 12, 2001

Rent Control

By Staff

There is an apartment building on Abrego called "Casa Dinero Perdido." The weathermate tells me that this translates roughly from Spanish as "the house of lost money."

October 11, 2001

D’oh!

By Staff

The Simpsons was my only break in a long strenuous day of meteorological study and gesturing in front of a blue screen. Yes, yes I know there is one episode at 6- but really, is that enough?

October 10, 2001

Weather Palace

By Staff

I am lazy. The weathercave is cold in the winter and hot in the summer with extremely poor plumbing. On the bright side, it’s stationary. All I ask for is a home without wheels. So, while the weathercave has remain...

October 9, 2001

You’re Like, Famous

By Staff

I successfully resisted the urge to say painfully obvious things to him such as, "You're Dennis Miller," or "You really sucked on Monday Night Football."

October 9, 2001

To All the Contra Fans In the House

By Staff

I’m terribly disappointed with the camera resolution on the latest war. CNN footage looked like a close-up shot of slowing elephant dung. For the billions we drop in defense, we deserve satellite close-ups, not Dum...

October 5, 2001

“I’m a people person.”

By Staff

Rejoice, you poor bastards. You may be in class on a Friday, but it could be worse.

September 26, 2001

Weatherhuman and the Angry Inch

By Staff

People fucked up, so I have no space today.

September 20, 2001

Weather

By Staff

The ex-weatherhuman told a lot of dick and fart jokes. Students loved it because they’re dick and fart people who’ve simply learned too many synonyms. They want sophisticated variations such as salmon-colored...

May 31, 2001

The Weatherbook … You Know You Want It

By Staff

Over the past few weeks, I have spent countless hours of intense drinking and half-assed planning (I pulled my first UCSB all-nighter on Tuesday) to bring you 104 pages of pure Weatherlove.

May 30, 2001

What Are You In For? … I Taped Myself to a Building

By Staff

I'm so proud.One my very own Weathercorrespondents, Conor Buckley, won my annual Freak Show award for taping himself to the Music Building yesterday.

May 29, 2001

There They Go, Alana and Michelle

By Staff

Congratulations to Weatherfans Alana Kapust and Michelle Rieger for winning my first annual Weatherpageant.

May 25, 2001

Get Out of the Weatherpool

By Staff

Everyone loves a good freak show. Yesterday, on my way to the office, I saw a clan of gifted souls engaged in some sort of sophisticated splashing display in the Reflection Pool.

May 24, 2001