Weather

November 9, 2001

Weather: 128 Doodles per Lecture and Rising

By Staff

A short explanation of Weather Relativity: We are at the end of week seven and Fall Quarter has been a speedy blur of drinking and dancing. Yet, each one of my shitty-shit-shit-boring-as-hell-shoot-me-in-the-back-of-the-...

November 7, 2001

Turn, Turn, Turn

By Staff

It must be autumn, my bills are changing color. Back in September, when the bank account was in bloom, the bills were a healthy white. But now the days, and my creditors’ patience, are shorter. The bills went from ...

November 7, 2001

CAAAAAWWWWW!

By Staff

The weatherpet is afraid of large predatory birds. I have tried explaining to him several times (using visual aides) that he is safe within his weatherpet compound. “I believe that predatory animals need to registe...

November 6, 2001

Down 8-6 But Up 3-0

By Staff

I went out last night to watch a few members of the weatherposse play intramural soccer. Unfortunately, two players got lost in the fog trying to get there and another fell down one of the holes in the RecCen “fiel...

November 5, 2001

Nominal Charge for Water

By Staff

The weathermates and I decided to engage in a little sport at the bowling alley this weekend.

November 2, 2001

Beautiful Trailers on the Bike Path

By Staff

Today I took a midterm while ignoring giant purple flashing runway lights in my peripheral vision.

November 1, 2001

Right Back At Cha, Teach!

By Staff

WeatherLonghand is almost as recognizable as the scrawlings of a dyslexic howler monkey. I use my chickenscratch sandscrit style to great effect, as revenge during midterms. The thicker the course reader, the more the We...

October 31, 2001

Entertaining the WeatherFam

By Staff

The weatherfamily arrives today. Weatherdad has a conference to attend (i.e. an excuse to get in a few rounds of golf.) Weathermom wants to see the town (i.e. an excuse to spend money in overpriced boutiques.) Weatherbro...

October 30, 2001

I There A Procrastination Gene?

By Staff

There are two ways I write a college paper. The first way is a frenzy of last minute research followed by a paper that is in no way good, but not worse than the usual bullshit. The second way is to try and start early, p...

October 29, 2001

You have the right to sit on the curb, sucka

By Staff

There sure were a lot of people dressed up as mean cops this weekend. I had no idea the costume was so popular. The mean cops had talent too – they never drank, or danced, or even cracked a smile all weekend. Perha...

October 26, 2001

KEEE-YAAA! Extreme Quarter

By Staff

Halloween falls on a Wednesday this year.

October 25, 2001

They Burn Leeches, Right?

By Staff

The weatherroommates and I are in mourning today

October 24, 2001

What are the Chances?

By Staff

Whenever midterms are pinning me down, I try to get some perspective. It could be worse. Atrsweek editor Eric James, for example, just got her wallet stolen in Hollywood by a 7-foot tall drag queen crackhead. Wednesday&#...

October 18, 2001

The Rump Halo

By Staff

I don’t get this new female jean style. Massive fading strictly applied to the ass cheeks and thighs make it look like a lot of cowboys ride your saddle. It also looks like you’re going for a baboon-style pre...

October 17, 2001

What’s That Running Down Your Leg?

By Staff

Whenever I interview someone important like a presidential candidate or a celebrity, I don’t imagine them naked. I imagine them with diarrhea. Everyone gets the Runs, even cool people. When you imagine them with a ...

October 15, 2001