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Are Wingwomen Wanted?
You look her in the eye. She smiles. You lean in to kiss her, and she - wait - fuck, she's gone.
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Are Wingwomen Wanted?
Maverick and Goose would back me up - everybody needs a wingman. Iceman would have crashed without one, and so would you.
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MySpace Merely Boosts Bands’ Egos
With all the new rock bands, indie bands, small rap groups, etc., it is hard to find a band to really like and follow.
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Cycling Siren Offers Rules for the Road
I have always avoided biking the first week of the school year as the newbies try to learn how the bike paths work.
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CCS Provides More Than Meets the Eye
We, the students of the Literature Collaborative at the College of Creative Studies, would like to address the recent opinion column regarding CCS ("Gaucho Sends Readers to CCS Abyss," Daily Nexus, Oc...
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Admin Letters Misplace Priorities
Once upon a time, some two summers ago, I was seated on my second-hand couch, guiltily enjoying a VH1 marathon of "America's Next Top Model" cycle two, when my cell phone beckoned with the "Can-Can" r...
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Sasquatch Skeptics Neglect ‘Foot Facts
Just when you thought life couldn't possibly get any more exciting, Bigfoot pops his beautiful face - OK fine, it was his back, but whatever - out of the forest. Reports out of Pennsylvania have Bigfo...
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Newer Technologies Digitally Divide Us
As a proponent of technology, it's startling how easy it is for me to look at a new gadget and think how everyone should be an early adopter.
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Slammed Semicolon Needs Some Sweet, Sweet Lovin’
In light of recent threats posed towards you, my dearest semicolon, I am compelled to raise a backhand just like the curved fist that adorns your brow.
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Please Don’t Try to Bike Over the Hump Pls
Labyrinth: Grades Search
Aries
March 21 - April 19
Everything shower every day
Taurus
April 20 - May 20
Has an extensive tote bag collection but never brings one to Trader Joe’s
Gemini
May 21 - June 20
Reusing condoms
Cancer
June 21 - July 22
Collecting tears to water their plants
Leo
July 23 - August 22
Asking to shower together to “save water”
Virgo
August 23 - September 22
Air conditioning and electric blanket running simultaneously
Libra
September 23 - October 22
Has gone from Temu to SHEIN for bikini purchases
Scorpio
October 23 - November 21
Fracking
Sagittarius
November 22 - December 21
On their 10th flight out of Santa Barbara Airport this month
Capricorn
December 22 - January 19
Owns seven Stanley cups
Aquarius
January 20 - February 18
Wrote their environmental ethics essay with ChatGPT
Pisces
February 19 - March 20
Vegan contributing to Big Almond
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