Multimedia

April 3, 2019

Student Curbs Coke Addiction, Crediting Rush He Gets from Submitting an Assignment 30 Seconds Before Deadline

By Katherine McCabe

Clint used to be the guy that slipped off to the bathroom every 30 minutes or so. Clint’s parents kept asking him where all his money went and why he needed to pick up extra shifts at Albertsons. Clint even sank to the...

April 2, 2019

Student Health Now Fully Staffed by Plague Doctors

By Ariana Marmolejo

In an effort to save money at the direct and immediate expense of student wellbeing, Student Health Services is pleased to announce that they have replaced all physicians and trained medical professionals with plague doc...

April 1, 2019

UCSB Establishes Bike School for Student Bikers Prone to Accidents

By Emma Demorest

An influx of horrific bike accidents (in which many took to Free & For Sale to voice their grievances and describe the gory details of their injuries) has prompted local UCPD to implement the W.E.A.K. program, Wheels for...

March 29, 2019

Sorority Girls Exclusively Comment “Mom and Dad” on Pictures of Unstable Relationships Only

By Tess Karls

We all know that one couple that’s consistently off and on. The guy frequently likes other girls’ pictures on Instagram and the girl keeps getting fucking pissed.

March 29, 2019

Chad Simpleton’s Isla Vista Restaurants Review

By Chad Simpleton

Food, we all need it. Restaurants, we’ve all been to them. IV, definitely has ‘em. This cesspool of debauchery and dank memes is full of the best fucking foods to cure everything from a hangover to heartbreak upon re...

March 21, 2019

In Photos | AFSCME & UTPE Hold One-Day Strike

By Daily Nexus Photography

The unions have been negotiating new contracts with the UC since 2017.

March 18, 2019

In Photos | MSA Hosts Vigil in Solidarity With Muslims of New Zealand

By Daily Nexus Photography

Over 200 people were in attendance.

March 15, 2019

In Photos | 11 Minutes For 11 Years: Youth Climate Strike Takes Over Arbor

By Daily Nexus Photography

The 11 a.m. strike lasted just over 30 minutes.

March 15, 2019

VIDEO: Random Acts of Kindness 2019

By Harvest Keeney

The Daily Nexus teamed up with Woodstocks Pizza to celebrate this year’s Random Act of Kindness month and give back to the students.

March 13, 2019

Breaking: Literally Nobody Tried To Bribe Their Way Into UCSB

By Hannah Jackson

In a shocking scandal, it was revealed that the United States Department of Justice has charged 50 people in six states for paying bribes for entry into elite universities. These bribes helped otherwise unqualified child...

March 11, 2019

Local Student Says ‘No Thank You’ to Finals

By Annie Pepper

Finals are almost here, and with them come yerba binges, restless nights and quiet sobs in the library. This year, though, local UCSB students seem to have put a stop to this quarterly tradition.

March 8, 2019

Student Asleep in Egg Chair Since 1992 Finally Wakes Up

By Jordan Curiel

Dazed and confused but thoroughly reseted, that same girl you’ve seen perpetually slumped in one of Davidson Library’s egg chairs every single day since freshman year has finally woken up.

March 7, 2019

Girl Who Reposts All Her Birthday Wishes To Instagram Story Edges out Ted Cruz and Fyre Festival Guy for Worst Person in the World

By Daniel Carroll

In an international poll with hundreds of millions of participants, Girl Who Reposts All Her Birthday Wishes To Instagram Story has narrowly been declared the worst person in the entire world. The race was remarkably clo...

March 7, 2019

Engineering Department Rampant with Bootcut Jeans and Skechers, Prompts Campuswide Orgasms

By Diana Prince

UCSB’s high-ranking College of Engineering is allegedly rampant with bootcut jeans and Skechers — and everyone is nutting, according to a new observation by Anyone Who’s Ever Been on That Side of Campus (AWEBTSC). ...

March 7, 2019

Professor Tells Terminally-Ill Student ‘No Make-Ups, Go Fuck Yourself’

By Henri Bemis

This Friday, one professor in the UCSB math department reportedly told a terminally-ill student, Sal Monella, to “get fucked” when said student requested to take a midterm late due to his mortal affliction. Though Sa...

March 5, 2019

A.S. is Fine! Everything is Fine!

By Nexustentialism Staff

Associated Students is doing the best it has ever done! Never has A.S. done so many beneficial things for UCSB. A.S. passes only good plans that are very well thought through and everyone agrees on them! It is almost unb...