Weather

Eric Forman Voted For Obama

February 20, 2008 by

MSNBC projected that Obama would win Wisconsin last night with 0% of the precincts reporting. ZERO. Not a single vote had been counted and they told us who would win!
read more

First Class Operation

February 19, 2008 by

Apparently three Ohio couples decided that Valentine's Day was as good a time as any to get married.
read more

Roses Are Red…

February 15, 2008 by

Oh my God. Two corrections in two days… copy staff, I officially rescind my Valentine to all of you. I have a job to do, I have adoring fans. Stop stealing my box! Also, news staff, how hard is ...
read more

Be My Valentine? (Only If You’re Hot Though)

February 14, 2008 by

Sources around the office tell me that people have been looking for me at parties. Look, I get it. I love myself too. But you can’t expect the ‘Human to show up without an invite. I’...
read more

Canadian Board Shorts

February 13, 2008 by

Since the Nexus doesn't have a fashion section, I feel that I must take it upon myself to discuss a major fashion faux pas that I've seen far too much of over the past couple of weeks.
read more

Bush, Dick and the Hummer

February 12, 2008 by

Look I'm not going to get in the way of today's planned protest, but I want to make this very, very clear: Stay the hell away from the 217 this year.
read more

What Part of the Chicken is the Popcorn?

February 11, 2008 by

Those morons at PETA have done it again, this time fighting congressional legislation that would make fried chicken the official picnic food of Kentucky. See what I did there, three of the last eight ...
read more

Wednesday Stumped

February 8, 2008 by

I usually try not to crack on fellow Nexites, but I can’t help but take offense with the latest “Wednesday Hump.” If you’re writing about attractive presidential candidates, yo...
read more

Driving With the Influence

February 7, 2008 by

Aren’t you glad that I’m around to bring you stories like this one: Police in St. Augustine, Fla., arrested a motorist for strapping a 24-pack of beer into a seatbelt, leaving a 16-month-o...
read more

En Route to Canada

February 6, 2008 by

Seriously people? McCain and Clinton? I realize that most of you probably voted for Obama because it’s the hip student thing to do, but what a disappointing day for California. Forget immigratio...
read more

Juicy Election

February 5, 2008 by

Not to sound too cliché, but everyone really should exercise their right to vote today, especially considering just how huge this year’s electoral results are. I originally walked into the ...
read more

This Isn’t What Edison Had in Mind

February 4, 2008 by

Dude, Southern California Edison: W.T.F.?
read more

I’m Not Going to Copy Lunch This Week

February 1, 2008 by

What’s up, Copy? Three corrections in one week really steals the ‘human’s thunder. Which one of you was it: Sexy Redhead, Bagel Buddy Mel, LEON, Shorty R, K.O., East Virginia, Kera t...
read more

The ‘Human Broke Your Bike

January 31, 2008 by

OK, here's the deal people: If your lazy ass got out of bed too late to get to class on time, and thus you're too lazy to park your bike in an actual spot on one of the racks, DON'T FREAKING PARK YOUR...
read more

Correction

January 30, 2008 by

The ‘human had a lot to say today but someone at the Nexus screwed up. Check back tomorrow. Maybe. Correction In yesterday’s Finance Board article, the Black Student Union was funded via t...
read more