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Bye, Bye, ‘Human

If you know the ‘human, say goodbye. Because between Cinqo de Mayo and ASVT, there’s no way in hell the ‘human makes it through this weekend. Friday’s forecast: Fuck Friday, th...
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Do Not Dump Blame on Recycling

As the program coordinator of Associated Students Recycling Program, I felt obligated to rebut Colin Marshall's misinformed opinion of our national recycling establishment ("We Must Find a Way to Redu...
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Do I Have to?

Why do professors even assign midterms during spring quarter? Thursday’s forecast: Academics are gradually becoming an unnecessary detriment to the ‘human’s bid to be drunk every nig...
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Apaches Are Not the Answer

Last week I asked curious UCSB students to send me their "Dear Abby" style questions via e-mail. The response was absolutely staggering.
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Know the Evils of Sexual Assault

By now you have seen the hundreds of blue shirts lining the bike paths. By now you have been to a workshop, listened to a speaker or "guessed the rapist."
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We Must Find a Way to Reduce Society’s Wastefulness

I think that, all things - especially the inhospitable poolside conditions on Venus - considered, Earth is a swell place to live. Some have even established organizations, programs and traditions to a...
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Frazier Unjustly Criticized for Factual Statements

Ashley Doty needs to get the stick out of her ass. Campaign season is over, and if she didn't notice, Jared Goldschen won.
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Foreign Policy Is a Product of National Government

Benjamin Corp's characterization of American policy from the Cold War to the present ("Politics Must Adapt," Daily Nexus, May 1) as idealistic and theoretical misrepresents history.
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Avoid Injuries in the Sack

Sexual injuries, like STIs and children, are the unfortunate side effects of recreational sex. Unlike children and infections, however, 99 percent of injuries that occur during and after sex are not p...
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Welcome to the Danger Zone

The ‘human was pointed out another facebook folly: a “I’m pretty much determined to fuck whoever writes the ‘weather’ for the Nexus” group exists. Wednesday’s...
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U.S. Influences Immigration Issues

Every human in the United States, save the Native Americans who survived the slaughter, possesses an ancestor who immigrated into this country at some point within the past 400 years. Today, a 400-yea...
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Nationalism Causes War

While I read the article on the ABC News website titled "Chad Breaks with Sudan After Rebel Attack," a certain idea bubbled in my head. The internal conflicts I have seen occurring in nations around t...
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Bloody Monday

Fuck Mondays.
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Learn To Accept Defeat Without Criticizing Others

Handling a big win is easy; all you do is smile, thank the people who helped you and refrain from rubbing it in the loser's face. However, to lose gracefully requires exceptional strength of character...
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Politics Must Adapt

Frankly, reading about sex in the Nexus opinion pages, while being most stimulating in some senses, is not satisfying my desire for political and international intercourse. Thus the subject of this ar...
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