Yesterday at noon, a group of about 15 students streaked across the Arbor. They wore only George W. Bush masks. Bystanders were confused, but then they saw the banner these naked patriots bore: “Bush, end the streak of lies!” Heroes, all of them. Sexy ones, too.

They streaked to protest the president’s streak of lies in a brilliant bit of UCSB-style political activism. Santa Cruz, y’all got nothin’ on us. The protest was a reaction to the numerous lies told by the Bush Administration to the American public. Lies have been told ever since the president took office back in 2001. Remember that? It’s been a long time since these dark ages of Dubya started, but there were a few specific lies that spurred the streak.

First, where the hell were these damn weapons of mass destruction in Iraq? Oh yeah, they never existed. And the Downing Street Memo proves that he always knew it and that he never cared because he had already decided to go to war anyway. That jackass! And yet he could look America in the fucking face and tell people lies. Over and over and over again. I have seen videos of him telling these lies to the mothers of dead soldiers. This man has no remorse.

And what about this nonsense about some connection between Saddam Hussein and al-Qaeda? Oh yeah, that’s right, he made that up, too. Anyone who’s passed a single goddamn history class would be able to tell you that Osama bin Laden’s hyper-religious terrorist network deeply hated and bitterly opposed the secular regime of Saddam Hussein. Yet, the Shrub spouted off about this bullshit, too.

And what about that stupid “Mission Accomplished” speech back in May 2003? Mission accomplished, my ass. Our soldiers are still dying, over 2,400 now and counting.

Yesterday, Dubya held a press conference to hail the creation of a new Iraqi government as a “turning point” in the reconstruction of Iraq. My question is, how the hell can there be a “turning point” after we just spent the last three years hearing that things were going great?

And last but not least, why in the hell would he possibly think it’s OK to bypass Congress and undertake a warrantless surveillance program that clearly breaks multiple federal laws? Ugh! What was this idiot thinking? And how the hell do 30 percent of the American people still support this remorseless liar?

A group of 150 students just assembled at Storke Plaza the other day to impeach this jerk. Concerned UCSB students have had enough of the president’s lies. They also feel like the media is not doing enough to expose them. The mainstream media refuses to ask the hard questions and launch the real investigations that have saved America from previous tyrant-wannabees (see: “Nixon, Richard M.”).

Who’s saving us from Bush? FOX News? That would be funny if it wasn’t true. Therefore, 15 Gauchos yesterday decided to show their discontent by turning a pun into a protest. They are sick enough of Bush to run naked across the most populated area of campus at the very busiest time just to draw attention to the lies! That’s devotion to a cause! The level of their devotion parallels the disappointment that thousands of fellow students and millions of American citizens feel toward the Bush Administration. A streak to end the streak of lies. Brilliant!

Jake Thorn is a senior political science major.