The ‘human was shocked to learn that the Women’s Lacrosse team has been suspended for possible hazing. But the photographic evidence found at says it all: attractive college-aged girls drinking, smiling and showing team spirit. If the university puts up with this, who knows what debauchery can go on?

Monday’s forecast: The Nexus gets investigated for hazing after university administrators discover photographs of editors initiating the new ranks by playing a friendly game of chess and talking about their feelings.