Four years after graduating from Casa Roble Fundamental High School and on the eve of a similar graduation here, I’d like to think I’ve learned a thing or two. I can now tap a keg, deconstruct a film in a manner no one outside of film studies would comprehend, and reverberate the Associated Press stylistics with my eyes closed. So with this being my last “40 oz.” installment, rather than taking the typical melodramatic, “thank you for this so-and-so” that means nothing to those who don’t know me, instead I’m going to list things that I think about this place that I’ve called home for the last four years. Or at least the things I think that I think, because if I simply accepted all of the things I’ve learned and thought, than the university hasn’t done its job.

I think I think that Freebirds’ only redeeming factor is that it has barbeque sauce and fried onions.

I think I think that people that live here and watch more than two hours of television a day need to figure their lives out and go outside.

I think I think that the Greek system here has an undeserved bad rep.

I think I think that those who berate those that run or write for the Nexus should preach their practice and come to training and show up all of us hacks.

I think I think that anyone who has shared a room with me while I’ve worked at this place have probably loved me for all of the extra masturbation time they got at night while I was here editing pages.

I think I think that I don’t think anyone on this campus has had worse luck than me with bikes over the last four years.

I think I think that, although I found it relatively pointless and tiresome while I was in it, I’ve never had to work harder to pull a B than I did in classical film theory. So in that respect, mission accomplished, Professor Branigan.

I think I think that those of us that spent our time here being involved and keeping ourselves busy in one way or another are far better off in the real world than any bookworm who cruised to their degree inside of a book, living off their parent’s dime. The most important lessons I’ll take away from this place weren’t found in any textbook.

I think I think that Miller Light and MGD suck. Actually, that much I know I think.

I think I think that everyone here, regardless of major, should try and take a class with Michael Petracca.

I think I think that I’ll miss the food at I.V. Deli Mart and Jerusalem Caf