Opinion

March 30, 2009

Food Fights Show Immense Disrespect

By Michael Bates

I'm a De La Guerra Dining Commons employee, and my name is Michael Bates, better known as Dancing Pizza Guy or its many variations. Last quarter, I witnessed a food fight break out. I simply asked, why? Some of you may p...

March 30, 2009

Old Friend Misses Roger Crona

By James Cassell

My name is James Cassell. I am sad to see that Roger Crona has died ("Roger Crona (Or Was it Jason von Straussenburg?) Dies at 62," Daily Nexus, Mar. 5). He was a good friend of mine from age 6 to age 18, when we lost tr...

March 30, 2009

Political Playground 2009

By Staff

March 9, 2009

Turds and Tulips

By Staff

Unrelenting, conniving turds to Steve Pappas for refusing to know when enough is enough. In life, there are winners and losers. Then there are assholes. Dirt poor, shriveled up turds to all of the university’s budg...

March 9, 2009

Things Not To Do When You’re Drunk

By The Weatherhuman

A word to the wise: If you're large, male and drunk, there are certain things you should and should not attempt.

March 9, 2009

On Joblessness, Loneliness and Anxiousness

By Igor Hiller

Hello there, it’s me, Igor. This column is due Sunday morning, and it’s Saturday night, and I’ve been drinking because my editor Nicki Arnold told me to be more advice-y because people have been writing...

March 5, 2009

Oh Baby, Just One More Time

By Staff

It's been a long time and I really need to get some. I'm dying for some action! I need it two more times before we go off to Spring Break. I'm not embarrassed to admit it's been over three months since I've really been p...

March 5, 2009

GIANT PENIS

By The Weatherhuman

Did anyone else notice the blood bus by the arbor today? Not too unusual on its own, I know. But I did care for its juxtaposition next to the girl dressed up as a giant vagina across the way.

March 5, 2009

Into the Desert

By Derek Mead

The U.S. as a whole, and California specifically, is so culturally blended that finding a singular identity for us is nigh impossible. However, as Sergio Leone's spaghetti westerns and the ridiculous urban cowboy fashion...

March 5, 2009

Whisk Away to Quaint Solvang for a Break from I.V. Life

By Jimmy Fremgen

On Saturday I went back in time and across the world by traveling about 30 minutes into the hills to a little Danish village called Solvang. I was fascinated with the quaintness of a town styled after the stereotypical A...

March 4, 2009

Fro-Yo Honey Some Love

By The Weatherhuman

So fellas, it's past midnight on a random weekday, and you and your lady friend are jonesing for some delicious sweets. Maybe you've got the munchies... or the drunchies. I won't judge.

March 4, 2009

Survive Your Sexual Drought

By Jenni Perez

It’s almost that time of year, Gauchos. The clouds part, the cerulean sky smiles and shirtless skateboarders run down campus pedestrians with a little extra rigor in their roll. Springtime is near! So, why all the ...

March 4, 2009

Sasha Grey Speaks Out

By Staff

Editor’s Note: This letter was submitted to us by Sasha Grey, the porn star and soon-to-be lead actress in Steven Soderbergh’s newest film, “The Girlfriend Experience.” Having starred in over 150 ...

March 4, 2009

There’s a Science to Buy-ology

By Henrietta Forsyth

What made me grab coffee at Starbucks over Java Jones in I.V.? Why did I spend so much money on a top at Abercrombie & Fitch on State Street when exactly the same item was cheaper next door? What exactly is the scie...

March 4, 2009

Get to Know Your EOPs

By Nicolas Collier

Do you know what EOP is? Have you heard about one of the best programs on the UCSB campus? EOP stands for, “Educational Opportunity Program” and has been helping thousands of students maximize involvement and...

March 3, 2009