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All Final Exams Canceled Due to Power Outage

UCSB officials have announced that all finals are to be canceled due to ongoing power and air quality concerns caused by the Thomas fire.
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New Pardall Stoplight Causes Students to Lose God Complex

Three weeks into the school year and the controversial decision to install a traffic light on Pardall has seemed to pay off.
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DP Nightlife Guide for Freshmen

Welcome freshmen! First things first: We are not friends. But from the goodness of my heart, I found it within myself to give you this nightlife guide.
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Tinder Name Ideas for UCSB Cyclists

A double-entendre homage to UCSB’s two main activities: dating and cycling.
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Top 15 Things UCSB Could Have Spent Anti-Deltopia $40K On

If UCSB’s going to hike up tuition and spend a ridiculous amount of money on anti-partying ads, they might as well give us what we really want.
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UCSB Pro-Nazi Meninists Feel Oppressed by Campus Liberals

After the inauguration of President Donald Trump, UCSB pro-Nazi meninists claim to have been targeted by on-campus anti-Trump and anti-racism protests.
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6 Trends That Need To Make a Comeback in 2017

2017 is the year we stop normalizing unrealistic stereotypical roles for minors so we can diversify our content and profit off of more child stars.
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Which Subtweet Should You Tweet Next?

What fun is the internet if you can’t talk shit? Don’t worry, these subtweets have your back.
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Celebratory Soccer Tortillas Recycled to Portola Dining

“The grass blades and dirt specks complement the lettuce and meat quite nicely,” said Portola Chef Bruno Moretti.
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