Weather

November 16, 2006

Spacing Out

By Staff

I'm having an existentialist crisis. Ever since I heard mention of the Apollo program, I've always wanted to be an astronaut.

November 13, 2006

Calling in Sick

By Staff

I'm just not in the mood to write the Weather today.

November 9, 2006

Theft

By Staff

Okay, I’ll be nice: Someone stole a chicken from the Newman Co-Op’s backyard, and they want it back. Call the co-op main office at (805) 685-6964 if you have any information or if you need a better descriptio...

November 6, 2006

Election

By Staff

Tomorrow’s election decides the fate of America, and will show just what patriots are made of. Are we blind sheep following the current administration’s ineptitude, or are we pretentious idealists, hoping to ...

November 3, 2006

Anatomy

By Staff

Apparently, male anatomists didn't discover the clitoris until 1559.

November 2, 2006

Mistakes

By Staff

I once asked the Weathermum if she had ever made a mistake: She just stared at me for a while.

November 1, 2006

Weather

By Staff

What is this shit? Oh, great. Apparently smartvoter.com isn’t as reliable as the Weatherhuman’s forecasts. Wednesday’s Forecast: The ‘human endorses itself, as always.

October 31, 2006

Healing the Hurt

By Staff

Ross shoppers are afflicted with the debilitating disease I like to call "Shit Hoarding."

October 30, 2006

Halloween

By Staff

After that weekend, I

October 27, 2006

Facebook is Amazing

By Staff

Facebook is amazing. I found out that you broke up with Tim, you left the Facebook group “If this group reaches 500,000 people it will be a large group,” and you posted on Katie’s wall “Omg!!! You...

October 26, 2006

Tent City Jam Fest, LLC:

By Staff

Tent City Jam Fest, LLC: We are sorry, but we cannot approve your request to form “Tent City Jam Fest Camp… For Kidz!” at this time. We acknowledge the value in having social justice themed summer retre...

October 25, 2006