Opinion

March 31, 2004

Zebras belong at the alphabet’s end

By Dennis F. Wadd

I hate Zebras. I really do. They're a sad excuse for an animal adapted to live on the harsh African plains. They're not horses.

March 31, 2004

Gays should marry men, not me

By Fay van Peebles

With all this hubbub about gay marriage, I feel like voicing my opinion. I, for one, wish gays could get married, if only so they'd stop marrying me.

March 31, 2004

Treat my fun bags with respect

By Samantha Ramhorn-Velasquez

As a feminist, I am offended by any slang term referring to the female breast. Kindly never print the following words in your fine publication: titties, knockers, hooters, headlights, fun bags, jugs, meat balloons, yabbo...

March 30, 2004

White House Finds WMD

By Tiye Baldwin

New evidence of WMD was found on Capitol Hill last week. Weapons of Mass Distraction came pouring out of the White House and through news outlets in an attempt to change the subject of public dialog. The 9/11 Commission ...

March 30, 2004

Sidewalk Saviors

By system

A recent Dartmouth Medical School study found that teenagers who are religious are less likely to be depressed and more likely to be satisfied with their families and school than secular teens.

March 30, 2004

Damn Skippy: The Survival of the Fittest for Dummies

By Loren Willams

Population growth is a big problem for me. As an environmentalist, I'm concerned that America already uses more resources than it can sustain. Water tables are dropping, topsoil is eroding and other bad things that requi...

March 29, 2004

American Tears, Spanish Blood

By Sarah Jaffe

There's a tiny se

March 29, 2004

Heart of Dankness

By system

Hope everyone had a fun Spring Break. The weatherhuman had a successful Baja surf trip. Sure, the weather sucked.

March 29, 2004

Springtime: Birds, Bees and Infatuation

By Meghan Palma

Every year, the arrival of the spring season always sets something crazy off in me. With temperatures on the rise, days getting longer and the intoxicating scent of exotic foliage filling the air, I get a little silly as...

March 5, 2004

Blossoms and Butt Nuggets

By system

Guilt-free tulips to the grocers' union for reaching an agreement with Albertsons, Ralphs and Safeway and no longer making us feel like shit when we pick up Top Ramen and condoms.

March 5, 2004

Going Out Smiling

By system

Last issue before spring break. In an effort to keep you safe, I will share a cautionary tale.

March 5, 2004

A.S. Gears Up to Protest Fee Hike and One Offensive Koala

By Joel Galster

Get Angry and Rally. Next Tuesday, March 9, in front of the UCen, there will be media, speakers, and students conglomerating on our campus as well as every other UC campus in protest of the new fee increase.

March 5, 2004

Joey’s Words Are Hate-Free

By Max Rasovsky

As long as everyone is already in the mood for blood, I feel it appropriate to offer my two cents on the matter of Tartakovsky-bashing. After reading Mr. Ali Kattan-Wright's article in the Mar. 2 issue of the Daily Nexu...

March 5, 2004

Booze Decoys Can Only Improve Life in I.V.

By Tom McKinny

I recently became aware of concerns local students have shared regarding a sting operation about to be implemented by the Isla Vista Foot Patrol. I understand the concerns came up at the recent 3rd District supervisor de...

March 4, 2004

Writing on the Rocks

By system

Two issues left - counting the one you're holding. The staff is staggering toward the finish, and I mean that quite literally. But we're almost there. One more day and I'll be as gone as the Dewar's.

March 4, 2004

All Tomorrow

By Drew Atkins

Like Frankenstein, procrastination can be destructive in its own lazy, easygoing way. Harnessing its raw, seductive power is difficult, but harness it you must. It's an art form. Got calculus to compute? A postmodernist ...