Opinion
Yesterday at noon, a group of about 15 students streaked across the Arbor. They wore only George W. Bush masks. Bystanders were confused, but then they saw the banner these naked patriots bore: "Bush,...
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The 'human was shocked to learn that the Women's Lacrosse team has been suspended for possible hazing. But the photographic evidence found at www.badjocks.com says it all: attractive college-aged girl...
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While the race for district attorney in Santa Barbara County may be heated, there is no real debate when looking at the candidates' issue positions and backgrounds. As an intern in the DA's office for...
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The information from the U.S. media has tainted the truth about the Israel-Palestine conflict. The biggest problem in the media portrayal of the conflict is blaming one country, Palestine. Though some...
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The county split process has been underway by serious citizens for the past five years. About 33,000 north County voters signed a petition to force the State of California to investigate both the high...
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Anyone who's lived here long enough has surely seen plenty of head scratchers. When some ten thousand college kids live in a square-mile box, there's inevitably going to be a strong contingent of stup...
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The ‘human’s head hurts. This goddamn correction is cramping the ‘human’s style. And its head. Tuesday’s forecast: Speaking of cramps, the ‘human’s … sh...
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This year, cancer will strike more than 1.3 million Americans and take more than half a million lives. As friends and family, we can do something to save lives and help those already fighting this dis...
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Zachariah Hubbell got many things wrong in his article, "UCSB Should Punish Serious Crimes Committed in I.V." (Daily Nexus, May 17). The article discusses the Campus Regulations Review Committee's pro...
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The district attorney's race is heating up, and the recent article in the Daily Nexus shows that all three candidates are vying for the support of the students of UCSB and the population of Isla Vista...
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I don't know what killed off the dinosaurs. Maybe it was an asteroid. Maybe it was disease. Maybe it was a combination of Pop Rocks and Coca-Cola. I'll probably never know for sure, but I do think I'v...
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Remember back in the day when only the who’s who had cell phones? Now if one cannot get a hold of another’s cell, their lives are in disarray. The ‘human was befuddled when two ̵...
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Books: What are books but odd bricks of paper we are supposed to read in order to pass our exams? A pile of books brings the top-shelf liquor into reach. They provide a quick scrap of paper to jot dow...
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dmittedly, I've never been a great one with numbers, but there is one number I believe everyone should be readily and happily familiar with: the infamous 69. I know there are some of you out there who...
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The ‘human decided that it was tired of being dark and gloomy and allowed the sun to shine for a short while today. Wednesday’s forecast: Despite the pleasant sun, unfortunately, the weath...
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Everything shower every day
Has an extensive tote bag collection but never brings one to Trader Joe’s
Reusing condoms
Collecting tears to water their plants
Asking to shower together to “save water”
Air conditioning and electric blanket running simultaneously
Has gone from Temu to SHEIN for bikini purchases
Fracking
On their 10th flight out of Santa Barbara Airport this month
Owns seven Stanley cups
Wrote their environmental ethics essay with ChatGPT
Vegan contributing to Big Almond
