Eric Hedlund

March 2, 2007

Laziness Still Affects Our U.S. Policies

By Eric Hedlund

Perhaps I am not built for the troubles of the 21st century.

February 23, 2007

Police Raids Serve as Target Practice

By Eric Hedlund

From the bum on the street corner to the nerdy, inarticulate Poli Sci major, everyone has been telling you, "Fascism... Man!"

February 16, 2007

Awe-Inspiring Strike Highlights Strength

By Eric Hedlund

Some sit in the center of class, others stand around the fringes and still others watch from far away.

February 9, 2007

Strike Exercises Obese Amendment

By Eric Hedlund

Protests are sweet. A protest, like the upcoming protest next Thursday, is a chance for the people to be seen and counted, and it does change things.

February 2, 2007

Education Problems Require Discussion

By Eric Hedlund

The recent campus debates about race, diversity and education make me glad to live inside of a bubble of concrete surrounded by weapons-grade kryptonite 15 miles below earth's surface.

January 19, 2007

Freedom Territory: America’s Drug War Ignores State Rights

By Eric Hedlund

In a democracy, the individual must gain rights through solidarity and steadfastness. In every movement, there are setbacks and obstacles. On Wednesday night, Los Angeles got its stash stolen.

January 12, 2007

Freedom Territory: Iraq Left With Dubious Leadership Hussein’s Execution Raises Questions

By Eric Hedlund

Usually the victors write the history books, but in the case of Saddam Hussein's execution, his is recorded by video footage. The moving picture camera is the whirring scribe of our time - a mechanical mediator that make...

December 1, 2006

Freedom Territory

By Eric Hedlund

The rabbit hole goes deeper and deeper - and the bunnies are radioactive and have deadly ninja skills.

November 17, 2006

Freedom Territory: Democrats Win House, but Politics Continue as Usual

By Eric Hedlund

Tis' the season to be jolly. Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la. Time to pack up the mashed Republicans and gravy leftovers from the midterm elections and get out the mistletoe and nutcrackers for '08. Pundits and proletariat! ...

November 3, 2006

Freedom Territory: President Misunderstands Iraq Joke

By Eric Hedlund

It's very dangerous in this world of political humor. You could be rolling along and all of a sudden your Humorvee hits a Politically Incorrect IED (Improvised Explosive Device). I've never botched a joke, so I wouldn't ...

October 27, 2006

Freedom Territory: Our Government’s War on Drugs May Settle Down, But Is It Really Over?

By Eric Hedlund

The War on Drugs is over! Pretty much over. Mission accomplished, people! Pretty close to accomplished that is. Good work people. I've prepared a speech for the Decider in Chief:

October 20, 2006

Freedom Territory: Hippies Should Be Kept From Polls

By Eric Hedlund

The last time that a large group of stupid, drunken hippies, like the fine readers of this newspaper, forgot to vote, our country passed the 18th Amendment, resulting in alcohol prohibition. Frankly, you hippies never se...

October 13, 2006

Freedom Territory: U.S. and North Korea Drop Bombs

By Eric Hedlund

Ever bent down to slap two poodles and gotten so distracted that a starving Rottweiler was able to shove a massive metal enema up your rectum? It's happened to several elephants with big fat asses down at the local zoo i...

October 6, 2006

Freedom Territory: Plant Your Flag in My Capitol Hill, Sir

By Eric Hedlund

It's mud-wrestling season on Capitol Hill, and it seems everybody wants to strip down and wrestle virile young men a fraction of their age in a deep puddle of thick gooey sex-mud. Of course, I'm referring to the midterm ...

October 2, 2006

All Countries Deserve Their Fair Share of Nukes

By Eric Hedlund

Has it ever happened to you? You and your cousin Iran start drinking heavily and you two get in a fight and now, six years later, cousin Iran is putting together a nuclear program, but you two still aren't talking? Awkwa...