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National Language Will Strengthen the American Dream

May 23, 2008 by Colten Hall

"The mission of the United States is one of benevolent assimilation." -William McKinley
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Columnist Embarks on One Last Trip Of Mayans, Moons, Stamps and ‘Shrooms

May 22, 2008 by Jeff Gibson

I took a look around and realized I'm back here again. Finding clues to a riddled life printed on cardboard cereal boxes. Nutritional facts for a starved teenage imagination. Gathering deeper meaning...
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For A Limited Time Only

May 22, 2008 by Staff

The corrections give me a chance to say I'm touched like a 13-year-old girl at R. Kelly's house by all the nice messages I got about the reader, but I probably need more to get it made. E-mail weather...
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War Crime Charges Beckon for Bushie

May 22, 2008 by Jordan Pokross

Here's a hypothetical situation: Obama is elected president by a sweeping majority in November after a long and arduous campaign against John McCain. George W. Bush quietly leaves office and Obama is ...
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Left Said, Right Said: I Now Pronounce You…

May 22, 2008 by Eric Goldman and Jeff Dulgar

Marriage is one of the oldest institutions known to mankind. Its roots are religious as well as legal, and efforts to redefine the union to encompass gay and lesbian couples have been predictably noxi...
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Partisan Politics Protrude on Intellectual Understanding

May 22, 2008 by Steven Quistad

We, as the human race, are a very safe species. We have many pre-determined judgments and biases, which we hold tightly. Rarely do we venture out of our intellectual safety net to explore and understa...
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Think!

May 22, 2008 by Staff

Dear Penthouse Forum…

May 21, 2008 by Staff

I love my anonymity, but being nameless and faceless isn't without its sacrifices, so today I'd like to publicly feel sorry for myself over the hordes of ass that I've been forced to forego due to the...
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Sexy Peep Shows Please Onlookers

May 21, 2008 by Dana Olsen

Everybody knows that sex in public is better than sex in private. Your hearts are racing even faster than usual as you try to finish before you get caught... but usually, you don't get caught. I did.
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District Supervisor Should Care for I.V.

May 21, 2008 by Eric Mulhaupt

The 3rd District supervisor election is upon us. We have all seen the campaign signs and the flyers tossed aside by uninterested voters. But we should all be interested, and this is why.
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Classic Dueling Brings Beer to the Wild West

May 21, 2008 by Ray Collins

Back in the days of the Wild West, there were gunslingers that were notorious for being quick to kill with their pistols. They were often found drinking whiskey and gambling in saloons.
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“English” Food Hardly Resembles British Counterparts

May 21, 2008 by Sukhraj Singh

You are all being lied to this very minute. Every food store that you know of is lying to you as you read this. They claim to sell "English Muffins" and "English Scones." Now, I don't know about you, ...
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Think!

May 21, 2008 by Staff

Publish Me

May 20, 2008 by Staff

Alright, here’s the dea,l fans: Every few years, the ‘human gets cocky and attempts to make and then sell the Weatherreader, a mind-blowing compilation of subtle racism, sexism, ageism and...
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Muslims Should Not Classify Themselves

May 20, 2008 by Christian Bolton

When author and lecturer David Horowitz appeared at UCSB, he mentioned that our Muslim students had not condemned Hamas and Hezbollah, implying that this told us something about our Muslim students. H...
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