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Gotta Go, Isla Vista…Can I Borrow Your Shirt?

Oh, Isla Vista... you devil, you. You always blow my mind. Need a light, baby? Another pillow? Before you turn over and snore, you sex beast of a town, there's something I want to tell you.
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The End of a Reign

So this is it: the last weather of the year. I have so much to say, and so little space, so I guess I won't say much of anything.
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The Last Escape From I.V.

It's that time. I've been able to put it off for almost a week now, but along with Jenni, I am finally facing my very last piece of journalism in the Daily Nexus. Actually it's my last piece of journa...
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Academic Freedom Forum Failed to Address Issues

It was not a good day for academic freedom or academic rights at UCSB. Fortunately, such days are very rare. Let us commit ourselves to keeping them that way.
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Turds and Tulips

Turds: Rash, unjust turds to the supervisors for banning alcohol on I.V. beach. Floatopia was unexpectedly large this year, but we’re still adults and hitting us with punitive measures like this...
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Enough With the Rankings

U.S. News and Forbes put out their own "best universities" lists each year. But what the hell do they know about a good school? And should colleges really be given numbers in the first place?
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Dead Week?

Calling week 10 "Dead Week" is the second-most misleading thing I've been told since coming to UCSB.
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A Word to All Potential Subleasers

Warning: The events of this true story are so horrific, heinous and sadistic that the real identities have been concealed to protect the sad, sad victims in this malicious act of subleasing. Read at y...
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Public Forum Gets It Right

In Mr. Melnick's piece ("Forum Mocks Free Speech By Ignoring Opposing Views," Daily Nexus, May 26), he asserts that this forum is "a two-hour polemical rant in support of William Robinson." I fail to ...
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The Mush Pot

What do you think of Duck, Duck, Goose as a drinking game? It seems like the probability of spilling would be pretty high… and the rules of when to drink don’t exactly seem very clear-cut&...
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Doctor Derek Writes His Final Words

It's three in the morning, I'm blaquephaded off moonshine and I'm posted up in the middle of the Costa Rican rainforest. In times like this, I start to wonder how I'm going to survive the night withou...
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Take Me Out to the Ball Game

It's that time of the year again. School is wrapping up, Kobe and LeBron are each battling it out and heading toward the end of their journey and every Canadian's favorite pastime is winding down. (No...
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The Future of Sex

Come June 14, I will be part of the 25 percent of the student body awarded a framed piece of paper and firm handshake that translate to, "Get the fuck out." As this day approaches, I'm becoming incre...
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My Reflection

You know when there's a glass door, and right as you come up to it you get a look at your own reflection? Then you're like, "Damn, that is one good-looking reflection." Yeah, you know what I mean. Don...
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Fight the Power, Ignore the Police

A couple of weeks ago, the Nexus published a column I wrote that offered the advice of "doing drugs instead of drinking." ("Do Drugs Instead of Drinking," Daily Nexus, May 12.) It was supposed to be a...
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