Hey. You. Take a quick break from thinking up your Halloween costume and think about this: It’s the middle of Week 2. I just wanted to remind you kids because, well, it’s time you settle in and, quite honestly, your fervor tires me. Yes, yes, Isla Vista is awesome, and wow, Cucas burritos are fantastic. Dude, you did get soooo wasted last night and yeah, we all heard you got action last night. It’s time to get into the swing of things. It’s time to start riding your bike on the right side of the street. Mostly, it’s time to start staggering around campus haphazardly and groaning about upcoming midterms/being broke/the swine flu.

Tomorrow’s Forecast: The bike paths magically decongest and lecture seats wondrously open up as students abandon their new school-year ambitions and sink into the sweet, sweet bliss that is mediocrity.