Mind, Body & Soul
Good day, my raunchy readers! Today we will be pondering the complexities of girl-on-top. This entails subtopics such as where a male’s hands should be, the paramount importance of hip-guiding and t...
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It is with this article today that I wish to start examining the way that sex has shaped our culture, particularly as it is relevant to I.V., and I feel an excellent place to start this is by examinin...
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My dearest Gauchos, today we will be discussing the do’s and don’ts of oral sex. Now, I have qualms with both my XXs and my XYs regarding your respective oral habits, and this may result in being ...
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As Halloween approaches, I find myself wondering what wonders the October holiday has in store for me. Will I relive freshman year, when a downpour melted the “costumes” off of a group of Isla Vis...
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Ladies and gentlemen, I come before you today a woman who enjoys indulging in her favorite adult toy when her roommates are gone. I am an avid fan of toys and if you aren’t, then you’ve probably n...
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Readers, it is with my first words that I must apologize: This Hump will not be on the seduction strategies of women in I.V. as was promised last week. Instead, I have been compelled by a number of so...
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With the first weekend of school recently past, I find myself in the aftermath of what few parties I could be dragged to, analyzing the information I gathered from them. While adrift in our beloved de...
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As the new school year dawns, I find myself inundated by the increased amount of strange faces around IV. These are undoubtedly our new and deeply respected incoming freshmen, and so allow me to welco...
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Once upon a time, there was a man who wanted to keep his relationship with a girl casual. Let’s call him a “noncommittal dating partner.” Understandably, however, he was often mistaken for a boy...
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It’s that time of the year again. June gloom slowly creeps up, with the calendar bitching at you to get your life together while your hands desperately shove tequila shots down your throat in an att...
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If you ever feel like risking your immortal soul, it is my suggestion that you peruse Craigslist’s casual encounters. The activity is quite enjoyable, especially if you are as demented as me and my ...
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Until college, I was the prude. The hot Asian prude, but nonetheless the prude. At my ironically slutty all-girls Catholic school, everyone tried to hide their obvious skankiness. And while my boyfrie...
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Now, I know I have almost beaten gender roles in our society to death, but I’ve still got one last little bit to harp on. All of this theory is leading up to something — a part of my sex life an a...
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Alumni Weekend came as quickly as an undersexed 35-year-old with a full-time cubicle job as soon as he spots something fertile. Like a dark, ominous cloud — holding not refreshing showers, but a dis...
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Most unfortunately, in order to speak of this next topic, I will have to address something fetid and repulsive. I’m going to talk about an aspect of intercourse that is often lost, forgotten, feared...
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Ride through the bike path without crashing
Find a seat at the red couches on the second floor of the library
Sunrise and sunset dip on the same day
Find parking on Del Playa Drive
Drunk for 24 hours
Bagel crawl
First pick at an Arbor muffin in the morning
Participate in a mosh pit at a band show
Finally talk to their class crush
Get an earlier pass time than their friends in GOLD
Graduate
Successfully walk through I.V. without seeing an old hookup
