Mind, Body & Soul

January 26, 2011

Wise Women Indifferent to the Extra Long Schlong

By S.F.

If you were to order the perfect dick, what would it look like? I honestly don’t think I could say exactly.

January 11, 2011

More Than Friends, Less Than Fun

By S.F.

Aristotle once said, “Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies.” A poetic, moving assessment, but I have to wonder: Did Aristotle ever decide to fuck one of these friends he was renting half of his soul out...

January 3, 2011

More Than Friends, Less Than Fun

By Multimedia Editor

Aristotle once said, “Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies.” A poetic, moving assessment, but I have to wonder: Did Aristotle ever decide to fuck one of these friends he was renting half of his soul out...

November 17, 2010

Painfully Awkward and Awkardly Painful

By S.F.

Boys, I need to talk to you about the years of pain I have endured at the cost of your hands.

November 10, 2010

Why Your Dirty Little Secret Should Be Celebrated

By S.F.

One of my favorite shows is “Entourage,” despite its depressingly poignant way of reminding me that all of the fancy luxuries in my life are lacking.

November 3, 2010

How Our Generation’s Popular Music Fuels Promiscuity on the Dance Floor and in the Bedroom

By S.F.

“I got a feeling” that you have more than once been lured into a party by the pounding rhythms that make Isla Vista’s heart beat, danced until the stiff air made you sweat and found a rando to grind up against so h...

October 28, 2010

Pain, Pleather and Pleasure: Need We Say More?

By S.F.

Here’s the thing: I like to be spanked. Preferably to the point of intense pain.

October 27, 2010

Pain, Pleather and Pleasure: Need We Say More?

By S.F.

Here’s the thing: I like to be spanked. Preferably to the point of intense pain.

October 20, 2010

Former Editor Returns to Liberate UCSB’s Libido

By S.F.

Modern sexuality as we know and enjoy it is the result of — nay, an evolving process rooted in — a long history of repression.

October 13, 2010

Drunken Hookups Yield Diminishing Pleasure

By Haley Snyder

The thing I love about college is it’s the only place I can do everything wasted: cook, booty call my grandmother and make it home with at least one shoe on.

October 6, 2010

You, Me and Magnum Makes Three

By Haley Snyder

In the real world, a box of condoms costs about ten dollars. In college life, sex and relationships interns make the starry Isla Vista skies rain with bulk Lifestyles and banana flavored Durexes.

September 29, 2010

Dorm Rooms Make for the Best Sexperiences

By Haley Snyder

Long ago, UCSB first decided to remind freshmen of their infantile nature with the familiar barred sidings just like when you were a baby.

August 25, 2010

Bedroom Etiquette for Dummies

By Haley Snyder

Communication about sex is by default neither easy nor common for parents, so excuse their embarrassment and take it upon yourself to be learn how to be polite.

May 26, 2010

The Hump Addresses Final Sex Questions

By Opinion Editor

Below are a series of questions written by a group of truly sophisticated, resourceful college boys. I’ve been instructed to answer all the questions honestly and without reserve.

May 19, 2010

Seniors Should Reconsider Their Perspective on Underclassmen

By Opinion Editor

“Oh wow, you’re a senior? Man, you’re probably the oldest person here.” Ouch. Like big wooden splinter in the soft spot between your toes kind of ouch.

May 5, 2010

Avoiding the Dangers of Sexual Dehydration

By Opinion Editor

A couple of weeks ago, I woke up curled comfortably next to one of my best friends. He jolted up, looked at me, and then with a disappointed look on his face, muttered, “Shit, I thought I got laid for a second.”