Columnist Bids Adieu to Sexy UCSB

May 30, 2007 by

It was destiny that sunny afternoon last year when I blew off school, got drunk with my housemates and let them convince me to apply for the position of sex columnist.
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Porn Allows Viewers to Fantasize, Escape Reality

May 23, 2007 by

"Stop fucking standing there and fuck me!" porn star Cytherea demanded of her costar.
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Exhibit Your Sexy Sides

May 16, 2007 by

From the bathroom in the Davidson Library to the grass outside of the UCen to the top of Storke Tower, UCSB is full of exciting places to do the nasty.
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Get Together, Stop Blue Balls Forever

May 9, 2007 by

Picture this: You're a guy hanging out at Sam's To Go, downing a pitcher with your friends and enjoying this sweltering heat, when you catch the eye of a sexy stranger.
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Screw Definitions; Ditch the Labels

May 2, 2007 by

"I don't have to make the choice, I like girls and I like boys!" Peaches climbed up the stage as the crowd went crazy, dancing and cheering on her refusal to choose.
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Turn Weekend Hookups Into Dates

April 25, 2007 by

Ever since I was a kid, I have been trained to believe the process of dating was an essential part of getting to know someone, and certainly the precursor to relationships and sex.
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Hump Presents Rules of Engagement

April 11, 2007 by

In sunny Isla Vista, riding your sexy lab partner has become as common and socially acceptable as riding a bike to class - and I firmly believe that people should be able to do whom they want, when th...
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Prevent Loneliness on Sexile Island

April 4, 2007 by

Now that Spring Break is over, the vacation can finally begin. Spring Quarter is to students as, well, spring is to any kind of animal - time to hump and make some babies.
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Bill’s Bus Drives Make Out Sessions

March 7, 2007 by

"Let's find some blow and big-tittie girls!" The guy beamed at his friend drunkenly and swayed as the bus headed downtown on the 101.
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Sexual Chef Entices You With Dessert

February 28, 2007 by

Eat me out! Toss my salad! Pass the whipped cream! Sometimes with all the sexual connotations deriving from food in the bedroom it is easy to forget that I'm fucking and not at a family picnic
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Give Out-of-Towners Sexy I.V. Tours

February 21, 2007 by

Isla Vista is a shithole. It smells, it's dirty and if you leave anything unlocked for even a fleeting moment, it disappears.
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Spend Valentine’s Day Loving Your Sexy Self

February 14, 2007 by

Today is Valentine's Day, February four-fucking-teenth and it is the day to finally say no. No to mediocre dates with way too much pressure to be perfect. No to psychotic flipouts when one little thin...
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Student Health Provides Valuable Services

February 7, 2007 by

I'm not one of those people who get queasy and faint or barf at the sight of a needle. It's not like I'm into intravenous drugs, but I don't particularly mind giving blood or getting shots.
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Abstinence Halts Necessary Exploits

January 31, 2007 by

Rainy days simultaneously suck and blow. That may sound impossible, but your mom's vast experience has taught me that it's not. It is the rainy season of winter quarter that leaves me doing my reading...
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Definitions Unlock Your Chastity Belt

January 24, 2007 by

It is another freezing night on Sabado Tarde Road, and I'm mindlessly watching "Next" with my roommates, cattily commenting on the stupidity of the suitors and mocking the unwarranted arrogance of the...
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