Surfing in Poop Water is the Shit

“Honestly, I’m like already pretty sick,” stated Corby, throwing up a condensed shaka.
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Freshmen Outraged After Multiple Costumes Go to Waste

Several disappointed freshmen have been seen mourning the loss of their high school graduation money after spending it on an arsenal of Halloween costumes fit to combat the Halloweens of Isla Vista’...
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Library Locals Lib Life to The Fullest

Case-Barnes deliberately expressed that his glorified tree graveyard has all the comforts of home that an over-caffeinated nerd could dream of.
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Gauchos Have Chip on their Shoulder After Tie

After a whole year of anticipation, thousands of Gauchos drunkenly staggered to Harder Stadium on Saturday evening to unite over their contrived love for a sport they know nothing about.
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Incoming Freshman Ecstatic About Sharing Space Despite Previous Only Child Experiences

Incoming freshman and only child Ella McLeod just arrived at her new glorified closet for three, and she could not be more pumped to get the siblings she never asked for.
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Groundbreaking Research Suggests Bad Jokes Make Great Dads

Researchers recently discovered revealed groundbreaking evidence that pun-related humor in males is directly correlated with being a good father.
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