Nathan Campos / Daily Nexus

As the first round of midterms lurk just around the corner, UCSB students scramble to find a home at Davidson Library. Engineering student Joshua Case-Barnes residing on the second floor of the library for the past two years and has never felt more liberated.

“This was the best life decision I’ve made since I bought the PS4 circa 2013,” Case-Barnes whispered after taking a bite of his third Subway sandwich that day. “Why would I bother getting turnt in I.V. when I could constantly be getting learnt in the litbrary?”

Case-Barnes deliberately expressed that his glorified tree graveyard has all the comforts of home that an over-caffeinated nerd could dream of.

On particularly beautiful days, he often meanders to the eighth floor to catch a glimpse of the ocean, which is the one thing that might be saltier than he is. The library veteran also loves his home gym, which includes makeshift weights fashioned out of the $500 encyclopedias that you haven’t thought about since the third grade.

“Not only is it more time-efficient to live here, but it is also fiscally responsible,” Case-Barnes stated. “It is practically free; you only need to sacrifice your entire social calendar and dedicate your life to your education. I mean, talk about a bargain!”

The engineering major is eagerly anticipating a mandatory meeting for new residences addressing cell phone etiquette next Friday.


Carly Kay is a second-year biology major who is Airbnb-ing her cubicle on the eighth floor and accepts Venmo.