Weather

Hot Famales

So I was at a certain sandwich place in I.V., ordering a deliciously thrifty five-dollar footlong, when all of a sudden something catches my eye. Some sorority set up a donation jar for breast cancer ...
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Vampire Revenge

Two weeks before her wedding, a woman in Iowa was ordered by a judge to keep away from her fiancé after she was charged with domestic abuse. What'd she do, you ask? She bit him. Just clamped her ...
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Worst. Ticket. Ever.

A couple from Chicago was slapped with a $9.5 million parking ticket after leaving their car for two hours in Glencoe, Ill.
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Immaculate Conception

A shark in Virginia is reported to have had a “virgin birth.” The lady shark got preggers without doin’ it. Do you all realize what this means? I sure as hell don’t. Are we goi...
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Eat up, Fatty

Richard Cooey, a resident of an Ohio state prison, recently appealed his death sentence for a double rape-murder of college students in 1986. Coey, who is 5'7 and weighs 267 pounds, argued that he is ...
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Nippy Nuances

The blistering cold has returned to Isla Vista. Hurray. As much as I love hardened nipples and being able to keep my beers chilled by simply leaving them in the backyard at night, I hate having to wea...
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It Tingles!

Deborah Anderson of Boston University Medical Center was awarded an “Ig Nobel” research prize for discovering that Coca-Cola kills sperm. Apparently, women were using it in contraceptive d...
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Cartoons are my anti-drug

Do you ever go to sleep hoping you'll wake up inside that mind-bending, McDonald's-funded anti-drug film, starring every goddamn cartoon character that's ever graced the silver screen? You know, the o...
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Every Little Thing

The Weathermate and I got in a big fight last week… something about “sleeping with other ‘humans.'” Anyway, in an effort to make it up to the ‘mate, I put together a real...
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Really Cute.

Sarah Palin was so cute in the debates last night. “Can I call ya Joe?” Awwww. You know what else is cute? Tiny cockapoo puppies taking a shit. Tomorrow’s weather: We’re fucked...
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Fatty Dolphins

How do you guys like the Weather this week? Pretty random, eh? Sunny one day, foggy the next, with no real discernable pattern. That's mostly because I'm confused as hell right now. Why? Because even ...
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15/Undecided/Kansas City

There is a certain computer language etiquette that we all learned in high school because AIM convos were are the way to go when it comes to having serious discussions. You spell cool “kewl,R...
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Weather

Ahhhh, glorious first week.
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Twenty Questions

Today's forecast: Maybe showers? Maybe sunshine? Maybe a whole lot of confusion, because this is the back to school issue? But school doesn't start for a week, right? More question marks? I mean, I'm ...
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Introductions

Today's forecast: Rainy, tearful emotions in the morning, sunny smiles in the afternoon, hazy memories overnight. Oh, you thought you would be able to get the barometric pressure and stuff in the box...
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