Weather

May 21, 2003

Academic Thought

By The Weatherhuman

People talk about professors being liberal. A few even talk about professors being conservative. But it's much simpler than all that. Most people can tell you what your professors think: They think:

May 19, 2003

Advertise Online!

By Staff

I love Google. More specifically, I love their corporate advertising scheme. A friend of mine mentioned the other day that several character actors at Disney World had sued the company because their costumes required th...

May 19, 2003

Skittles and LSD

By Staff

I spent the weekend listening to old sixties albums. After careful consideration, I don't think that you need acid to write drug induced music.

May 16, 2003

The Deadline

By Staff

Today is the last day to change your grading option. Yeah, that's right. It's your last chance to face reality before they slap the cuffs on you.

May 15, 2003

Opening Night

By Staff

The way I understand it, The Matrix is a movie about a world where everyone's thoughts and actions are controlled by a giant illusion-generating machine. They can't escape because for them, fiction is more powerful than ...

May 14, 2003

Ans and Ists

By The Weatherhuman

There's been a lot of hubbub in the news lately about Patriot Act II. Personally, I think the Patriot Acts are just old McCarthy Era legislation that's been dusted off and touched up.

May 13, 2003

Cut and Paste

By Staff

How many times have you been sitting in the UCen, bored to death, staring over a book that you should be studying, but can’t bring yourself to look at? If I may, I would like to suggest a new UCen pastime

May 12, 2003

Post-Mother’s Day Blues

By Staff

I sincerely hope that you all had a pleasant Mother's Day. I know you all went home or called or sent nice cards.

May 9, 2003

Eeny-meany, Mediany, Mode

By Staff

Weatherfriend 1: "They're opening a new statistics department."Weatherfriend 2: "We don't have one?"Weatherfriend 1: "Yes, but we're starting another one."

May 8, 2003

Ah, Parking Services, Where Art Thy Sting?

By Staff

I was late for an exam yesterday and decided to drive to campus. Being short on time and spare change for a parking pass, I decided to take advantage of one of Parking Services' deluxe $30 spaces.

May 7, 2003

It’s Just No Gouda

By Staff

Don't eat the cheese. Specifically, don't eat the Tillamook-brand extra-sharp cheddar currently on sale at Vons.

May 6, 2003

Up All Night

By system

I pulled my first all-nighter of the quarter last night. When I tried to take notes in class today, I would look down at the page occasionally and find that I had scribbled down only the first and last letters of each wo...

May 5, 2003

Keep Moving and You Won’t Get Hit

By system

It's about this time of the year that everyone looks forward to moving. You've discovered all of the leaks, splinters and hanging live wires that your apartment has to offer and you can still fantasize that the next plac...

May 2, 2003

Goods and Services

By system

The weathercavemates and I are in the habit of playing horrible practical jokes on one another. One of the more original ones involves stealing an unsuspecting 'mate's checkbook and writing naughty things on the memo lin...

May 1, 2003

Weapons of Mass Destruction

By system

Nexus people bet on weird things, like election outcomes or the number of mosquitos we can kill on a given day in our pest-infested office. Today's lead story is the Los Alamos contract. So naturally, there's an office p...

April 30, 2003

Lots of Problems

By system

I have a problem class. Every time my professor gets frustrated, he relieves his misery by assigning extra homework. Every time he grades our homework, he gets frustrated.