Weather

January 27, 2006

The King Is Dead, Long Live the King

By system

The 'human is pissed. Still.

January 26, 2006

Meet: The WeatherJared

By system

The 'human was vastly misinformed when it was told that there was a Subway at the new liquor store-esque Arbor. On the contrary, there was nary a sub to be bought, just a line of patient fools that failed to realize a li...

January 25, 2006

Simply Incompetent

By system

Cell phones and iPods are everywhere. The 'human is berated by technology.

January 24, 2006

Large Numbers

By system

Damn that Kobe Bryant for upstaging the 'human on Sunday night. Doesn't number eight know that the 'human is the supreme being in the universe

January 23, 2006

Room with a View

By system

The thing that most befuddles the 'human about January is why everyone is so eager to look at the 'human's overpriced, undersized excuse of a living quarter.

January 20, 2006

The Weathergasm

By system

It was documented that Hitler could only orgasm when he spoke in public.

January 19, 2006

Scatastrophe

By system

I just found out today that the Sciggity Scat Man has died. Apparently, this happened several scaggety years ago, but that does not detract from the skiddity-magnitude of such a tragedy.

January 18, 2006

I Can’t … I’m Mormon

By system

Did you know UCSB is the second-fittest college campus next to BYU? This is bullshit.

January 17, 2006

King of Hearts

By system

In honor of Martin Luther King, Jr. Day yesterday, I slept in until 4 p.m. and had many dreams.

January 13, 2006

Remembering Yesterday Is Hard

By system

Yesterday was a sad day. Sidney Frank, inventor of Grey Goose Vodka, died yesterday at the age of 85.

January 12, 2006

Suspension of Discharged Relief

By system

The only thing I miss about high school is the suspensions. Remember how exciting it was when you or somebody you knew was suspended for the day and the whole school was ablaze in gossip.

January 11, 2006

I Can’t Get no Satis-Quack-tion

By system

Some people come to the weatherhuman seeking life advice. My advice to them is seek another life.

January 10, 2006

Hi!Burnation

By system

The weatherhuman forgot to welcome everybody back to winter quarter yesterday, simply stunning considering it is the 'human's favorite quarter.

January 9, 2006

Winter Brakes

By system

Word has it that the weatherhuman's biggest rival, Al Roker, has proposed a sitcom to the network CBS entitled "Al in the Family." Tousche, Al Roker. Tousche.

January 1, 2006

Ugly(ier) Duckling

By system

The 'human never really realized that in the Nexus office there is a giant shark hanging from the ceiling, aiming its vicious rage at a duck hanging from the noose.

December 1, 2005