Weather

June 7, 2007

Stay Classy Santa Barbara

By The Weatherhuman

Congrats (I guess) to the Class of 2007.

June 1, 2007

Spellcheckmate

By The Weatherhuman

The favorite to win the Scripps Nashonel National Spelling Bee was knocked out early in the competition after misspelling "clevis."

May 31, 2007

Hungry Hungry Hypocrites

By The Weatherhuman

A.S. inaugurated its "newspaper" by running a front-page story about over a dozen students and community members who went on a hunger strike.

May 30, 2007

2.5 Pints To Freedom

By The Weatherhuman

Apparently the British are going to put labels on all of their drinks that tell people how many units of alcohol are in each one, so they can figure out if they're exceeding safe drinking levels.

May 29, 2007

Snowy Plovers: Part XIV

By The Weatherhuman

I spent the whole weekend trying to think of a way to make a joke about Memorial Day, only to get shot down by the corrections box.

May 25, 2007

Slightly Cloudy With A 50 Percent Chance of Nudity

By The Weatherhuman

After yesterday's sweet column, I figured my bosses would have no problem with me taking the day off.

May 24, 2007

The Nexus Popped My Cherry

By The Weatherhuman

I always figured that the changing of the 'humans would be kind of like the changing of shifts at the Freebirds register.

May 23, 2007

The End, My Friends

By The Weatherhuman

Some people see the glass as being half-full; some see it as half-empty. The 'human sees the glass as being too big for the content.

May 22, 2007

SafeSpace

By The Weatherhuman

Changing its tune from an original refusal, MySpace has agreed to cooperate with a myriad of attorneys general across the country and hand over information gathered about identified sex offenders with profiles on the pop...

May 21, 2007

That’s My Bush

By The Weatherhuman

President George W. Bush's office and former President Jimmy Carter slung mud at each other's presidencies this weekend, which really is like K Fed and Britney arguing over who the better parent is.

May 18, 2007

Got Change? Change?

By The Weatherhuman

The 'human is looking for a quick buck, and working at the Nexus, surprisingly, isn't a good place to start looking.

May 17, 2007

Boomail

By The Weatherhuman

Umail doesn't seem like home any more, what with the required password change (so long, "weather69"), the bulging box of junk mail and University Announcements that in a few weeks will no longer apply to me.

May 16, 2007

Spelling Bee-utiful

By The Weatherhuman

After listening to Fergie's "Fergilicious" and "Glamorous" songs, the 'human can't help but be impressed with her and her friends' spelling abilities.

May 15, 2007

On the Menu

By The Weatherhuman

"Sex" is the most commonly entered term in search engines.

May 14, 2007

Rain, Rain, Go Away

By The Weatherhuman

Due to budget constraints the Weathercolumn has been outsourced to India for $4 an hour.

May 11, 2007

Meals on Wheels

By The Weatherhuman

This Weathercoupon good for one meal at the "2007 Cookout Protest," hosted by the 'human and held across the way from the anti-nuclear weapons hunger strikers/people in need of a crash diet posing as hunger strikers.