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Bus-ted

October 3, 2003 by Daily Nexus Editorial Board

Watergate, Monicagate, Fajitagate. And now a scandal to top them all: Bus Gategate. The label "scandal" possibly casts too poor a light on a simple device, but the gate installed to allow only Santa B...
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It Wasn’t Funny Anyway

October 3, 2003 by Staff

A weatherhuman and its readers have nothing without trust, so I'll be up front with you. The words you read in yesterday's weather were not mine-somebody fucked up and my words were lost.
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Arnold Schwarzensexist

October 3, 2003 by Nico Pitney

Let's start with a few recall election truisms. A week from now, the zany recall circus will be over and California's tax-loving, business-loathing government might just be in the hands of family man ...
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Drugstore Cowboy: Medicinal Mayhem in the War on Cannabis

October 3, 2003 by Cory Anthony

The war on drugs has sunk to a new low. Last Sunday, Sept. 28, the San Joaquin County District Attorney's office filed charges against Aaron Paradiso, who lives outside of Stockton. Aaron is a quadrip...
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Presidential Hopeful General Wesley Clark Isn’t All He Claims to Be.

October 3, 2003 by Drew Atkins

This is the story of 135 power-hungry status seekers, seemingly chosen at random to take part in the latest and most embarrassing display of political absurdity this side of the 2000 Presidential deba...
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Disposing of the Evidence

October 2, 2003 by Josef Manuel Liles

By now, many of you have undoubtedly heard about Proposition 54. This initiative, which is backed by Ward Connerly, the UC Regent behind Proposition 209, proposes to ban the state of California from c...
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Check the Weather Before You Leave

October 2, 2003 by Staff

The weathercomputer is on the fritz once again. The friendly technical support representative diagnosed my grumblings as resulting from a faulty motherboard.
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Student Groups Can Help You Prevent Sexual Assault in I.V.

October 2, 2003 by Susan Landgraff

The recent sexual assaults in Francisco Torres and Isla Vista are incredibly scary, life-changing events for the women involved. Unfortunately, sexual assaults are much more prevalent in our community...
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Flip Flop

October 1, 2003 by Staff

Did you get a chance to catch the wisdom of Paul Watson, write-in candidate for governor, as he spoke before a crowd of half-dozens in front of the UCen?
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Ejaculation Is for Girls Too

October 1, 2003 by Christina Huff

My best friend and I were having a heated debate over the validity of female ejaculation. Having never experienced a gusher before, I rejected his idea that they are real.
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Isla Vista: A Slum of a Most Memorable Character

October 1, 2003 by Samuel DeFranceschi

When I say that I.V. is a microcosm of America's worst and best, I mean a lot of things. American lifestyle, history and attitudes manifest in these harsh Santa Barbara conditions at levels seen littl...
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War, Recall and Hell’s Hostile Takeover of Earth

October 1, 2003 by David Downs

Truth may be the first casualty of war, but just because it's dead doesn't mean you have to drag it down the street with its guts trailing behind it as double-jawed hyenas gnaw on the gristle.
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UCSB Fraternities and Sororities Decry I.V. Porn as Bad Business

October 1, 2003 by Laura Mulligan Panhellenic President

As Panhellenic president, I would like to clarify the fact that the UCSB greek system does not in any way support the recent activities involving pornography that have taken place at certain parties i...
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Uncaged

September 30, 2003 by The Weatherhuman

More ugly birthday savagery, but this time one of the weatherfriends was the victim. Drunk, delirious the friend was having a good time-until being spotted by the Sasquatch.
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Malicious Misinformation

September 30, 2003 by Alan Sachar

The Palestinian-Israeli conflict is decades old, and it often seems as though there is no end in sight. Following the breakdown of the Quartet's "roadmap" peace plan and the resignation of Palestinian...
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