Disposing of the Evidence
By now, many of you have undoubtedly heard about Proposition 54. This initiative, which is backed by Ward Connerly, the UC Regent behind Proposition 209, proposes to ban the state of California from c...
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Student Groups Can Help You Prevent Sexual Assault in I.V.
The recent sexual assaults in Francisco Torres and Isla Vista are incredibly scary, life-changing events for the women involved. Unfortunately, sexual assaults are much more prevalent in our community...
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Ejaculation Is for Girls Too
My best friend and I were having a heated debate over the validity of female ejaculation. Having never experienced a gusher before, I rejected his idea that they are real.
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Isla Vista: A Slum of a Most Memorable Character
When I say that I.V. is a microcosm of America's worst and best, I mean a lot of things. American lifestyle, history and attitudes manifest in these harsh Santa Barbara conditions at levels seen littl...
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War, Recall and Hell’s Hostile Takeover of Earth
Truth may be the first casualty of war, but just because it's dead doesn't mean you have to drag it down the street with its guts trailing behind it as double-jawed hyenas gnaw on the gristle.
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UCSB Fraternities and Sororities Decry I.V. Porn as Bad Business
As Panhellenic president, I would like to clarify the fact that the UCSB greek system does not in any way support the recent activities involving pornography that have taken place at certain parties i...
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Malicious Misinformation
The Palestinian-Israeli conflict is decades old, and it often seems as though there is no end in sight. Following the breakdown of the Quartet's "roadmap" peace plan and the resignation of Palestinian...
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The Artful Dodger: Just Try to Ignore the Talking Pavement
"You know this isn't wrong." The pavement near the edge of the 6600 block of Pasado Road told me so. If I'm not mistaken, this mysterious message of reassurance became part of the Isla Vista landscape...
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A Subdivided Closet Case
I awake at 8 a.m. to get into the bacterial jungle that is my shower. As a train rumbles by and causes the foundation of my building to shake, I wonder if my shower is actually going to get me any cle...
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One More Day, Please
God, the first weekend of the school year goes fast. For two days we get a little taste of the freedom and carelessness we basked in all summer. We get wild, time gets blurry, then, boom, it's over.
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Everything a Student Could Ask for and More
As the guy referred to as the "longtime Isla Vista resident," I feel the need to write the obligatory "Welcome to I.V. piece for you, the incoming UCSB freshman class of 2003-04.
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Porn Is Not the Enemy
Slithering into Isla Vista in a grimy rut well-worn by the vices of alcohol, drugs, sexual harassment and objectification is that lusty, gonad-shaking demon called porn.
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Drugstore Cowboy: This Isn’t Comedy Central?
The circus surrounding the upcoming recall election on Oct. 7 has made California politics the best source of laughs since George W. coined the term "strategery." Wednesday night's debate did not disa...
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