The Weatherhuman was going to indulge his/her creativity in a pre-Thanksgiving haiku but forgot how many syllables go where. Funny how Googling “haiku” gets erotic haiku in just a few clicks.
Without further ado, the erotic Thanksgiving haiku:
Tasting turkey meat
Still hungry, my tongue further
Pursues hot turkey
Today’s forecast: sexy turkey.
Do: Practice being respectful. Don’t: Get caught up saying yes to all the Arbor's tablers.
Do: Grab a coffee at Cajé. Don’t: Scooter to Campbell Hall.
Do: Self-reflection. Don’t: Wear flip-flops to your 9 a.m. class.
Do: Go to CLAS. Don’t: Keep spending money at Freebirds.
Do: Watch a peaceful Campus Point sunrise. Don’t: Slap your ex on DP.
Do: Give a new coffee spot a chance. Don’t: “Sleep through” your 8 a.m. class. Again.
Do: Take a moment to breathe. Don’t: Flake on your Hinge date.
Do: Use your dining hall plan. Don’t: Scroll through GauchoGuys during lecture.
Do: Visit your TA. Don’t: Use Thriftopia as an excuse to binge spend.
Do: Start applying to internships. Don’t: Hook up on campus.
Do: Bow down to Chancellor Yang when you see him. Don’t: Fall off your bike.
Do: Pick up the Daily Nexus. Don’t: Ignore your parents’ texts.
