And Not a Soul in Sight

It’s like the campus that feared sundown.

If you’re reading this, you’re a more dedicated student than the Weatherhuman, who has fled class for his Weatherhome for Weatherturkey with all the Weatherfixings.

Wednesday’s forecast: a 75 percent empty campus, with a 100 percent chance of coldhearted, troll-like professors who don’t cancel their Wednesday classes because they sacrificed their families for the pursuit of their field of study long ago.