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Get Out of My House!

January 7, 2005 by Mark Signa

Welcome back. It's been pretty quiet over the last few weeks without you. The streets of I.V. were as chilly and quiet as a reception for Howard Stern at a NOW convention.
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Go for the Obvious

January 7, 2005 by Staff

With a new year come new opportunities. The last few years have frankly been disappointing, because "Infant" has dropped off the government's list of the top 1,000 U.S. baby names.
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Our A.S. President Should Step Down

January 7, 2005 by James Young Patrick Dickey

It's time for Morris to go. On Tuesday, Jan. 4, Associated Students President Cervin Morris was formally arraigned on felony charges of assault with a deadly weapon and misdemeanor battery.
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Reality’s Crappy Grip on Television

January 6, 2005 by Monique Moyal

I don't really understand this reality TV fad. And by no means am I exaggerating when I say you can flip through every channel on your 100-plus cable listing and find at least 25 reality shows, with m...
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Look Out Below

January 6, 2005 by Staff

I.V. is getting a rock climbing thing! There's a fence surrounding that excuse for a park on the 6600 block of Pasado, and it's accompanied by a picture of a big, fake rock.
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He Said, She Said: Let’s Cut to the Chase, Baby – No Mind Games Necessary

January 6, 2005 by Chris Trenchard

Back in junior high, I used to rock these green and brown plaid No Fear shorts pretty much every day. By the end of my tenure at Orinda Intermediate School, they had assumed two holes, several menacin...
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He Said, She Said: Keep Them on Their Toes By Playing ‘Em Hot and Cold

January 6, 2005 by Lauren Creamer

In grade school I broke my wrist playing tag. Tripping in a game these days doesn't result in broken bones; it results in a broken heart - unless, of course, you're a member of the UCSB men's basketba...
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FCC Media Crackdown Threatens First Amendment

January 6, 2005 by Patrick Callahan

Those darn Republicans are at it again. For the past several years under the Bush tenure, the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) has been cracking down on the television and radio programs that i...
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A Mini-Guide to Fighting I.V.’s Absurd Rent Prices

January 6, 2005 by Ken Virzi

It's that time of year again in I.V. when management companies try to get us to think that if we don't sign a lease now for next year then we will be shit out of luck because nothing will be left.
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Nexus Should Not Be a Place for Political Masturbation

January 6, 2005 by Helen Mortera

Since childhood, I've always thought political bumper stickers were a silly idea. After the election, it's like a bad one-night stand - love it or loathe it, you're still stuck with it.
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A Sexual Smorgasbord

January 5, 2005 by Dave Franzese

I'll miss you, Winter Break -- and when I say "I", I mean "my guts." For the three weeks that I was home, my father and I were locked in a ferocious battle of competitive sport-eating. We'd start ever...
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Obey Your Purse

January 5, 2005 by Staff

This quarter I'm taking a class about how to find efficient, low-cost solutions to problems. The textbook for the class costs $160.
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Let’s Do Our Part to Help Tsunami Victims

January 5, 2005 by Henry Sarria

Throughout my years growing up, I can remember my mom saying the following: "The Lord helps those who help themselves." This is a saying that obviously sticks in my mind to this very day.
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Thesaurus of Debauchery

January 4, 2005 by Sean Swaby

Welcome to 2005, kids. With the new year and the new class schedule inconveniently aligning themselves, when you're sitting in your first lecture of dreaded Winter Quarter you will undoubtedly get a l...
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Daddy Christmas

January 4, 2005 by Staff

Over Winter Break I saw the greatest Christmas light display ever. On the fence of this one house, someone had spelled out, in lights, "HO." Not "HO HO HO." Just "HO."
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