Opinion

May 3, 2004

AOL Instant Messenger and the Deterioration of the Human Race

By Anthony Manganaro

It is obvious the Internet is killing us - not mentally, but physically. For example, when I checked my e-mail this morning, I fell out of my chair and broke my right nut.

April 30, 2004

A T-shirt With a History

By Henry Sarria

I have decided to go on a mission. This mission will be a simultaneous statement of both fashion and politics. If you think my name made it to Mr. Blackwell's "10 Worst Dressed List" you're wrong. Even if it did, a rat's...

April 30, 2004

We Still Don’t Understand

By system

OK, it's late Thursday night, and I have the funniest joke I've written all week (not saying much) all ready to go. When I go to drop it in, I find my space pillaged by some bullshit correction.

April 30, 2004

Returning to the High School Womb

By Alec Mouhibian

It is widely acknowledged that UCSB is a pretty weird place. It's the type of place that when you hear about puppy love, it most likely has something to do with bestiality. This naturally came up when I visited my high s...

April 30, 2004

A Few Fixes to Pull Your ‘Puter Out of Slo-mo

By Zachary Carter

When it comes to computers, ignorance is not bliss. Your computer can only do what you tell it to, and I say "your computer" because mine has a mind of its own.

April 30, 2004

Outreach Makes for a More Colorful UCSB

By Torrance Thurman

It is widely acknowledged that UCSB is a pretty weird place. It's the type of place that when you hear about puppy love, it most likely has something to do with bestiality.

April 30, 2004

‘Pompous Clown’ Williams Disgraces Nexus, Students

By Bert Viloria

It is rather pathetic that a so-called Nexus columnist like Loren Williams has to resort to his professed xenophobic ideals to pump up his puerile and ignorant rants.

April 29, 2004

Drew Says,

By Drew Mackie

When they cloned Dolly the lamb, I wasn't impressed. My dad's from New Zealand. I've seen sheep. They're pretty much the same - hooves, wool, pea-sized brain. I hear now they've cloned more animals, like frogs and aardva...

April 29, 2004

Prettiest Boy in Troy

By system

That new movie about the Trojan War looks pretty cool. My only beef is with the casting. Brad Pitt as Achilles? Achilles' one weakness is supposed to be his heel, not his girlish face.

April 29, 2004

Other Drew Says,

By Drew Atkins

When I sleep at night I dream of a sanitary future, full of shiny uniforms and cars that fly. There are cities in the clouds, robot maids, and dolphins coexisting with humans in a civilized manner. I don't dream of freak...

April 29, 2004

Fatty Patty Isn’t a Matter for the Courts

By Nicholas Romero

In the 1990s, tort claims made up half of all lawsuits filed in the United States. One and a half million are reportedly filed every year. Tort claims are legal actions taken to receive damages for alleged direct injury.

April 29, 2004

Terrorism Can’t Exist Without a House to Live In

By Neer Lerner

I am writing in response to Ali Kattan-Wright's article ("Collective Punishment Affects Us All," April 27, Daily Nexus) which I found to be a revolting distortion of the Israeli government's policy of house demolitions a...

April 29, 2004

Coke Pokes Its Nose Into Some Serious Criminal Activities

By Ashleigh Talberth

What is really going on with Coca-Cola? There is overwhelming evidence that management at Coca-Cola's bottling plants in Colombia routinely allows paramilitary death squads to murder, torture and kidnap union leaders and...

April 28, 2004

A Pubic Hairy Situation

By Kate Rice

Hair is a part of life. Whether you like it or not, hair is an inescapable certainty that we must live with. Many of you may have a bit of the amazon growing between your thighs, and others still may call themselves Capt...

April 28, 2004

Smitty Checks Out

By system

This box says 'Weather' on top, so I guess I should mention it's been hot enough to kill the elderly lately. Whoops - I guess that was kind of insensitive. There goes my readership at the old folk's home on El Colegio.

April 28, 2004

America Needs to Get off Its High Horse

By Steven Schneider

Lovely. Isn't it amazing how incredibly willing we Americans are to sacrifice so much and help our little brown brothers in Iraq? We definitely deserve a brownie. Let's all take a moment to pat ourselves on the back for ...