I already thought “What Not to Wear” was a pretty socialist show, but North Korea has taken it one step further with its new TV series, “Let Us Trim Our Hair in Accordance With Socialist Lifestyle.” I’m hoping the Nexus, with its not-so-secret commie leanings, follows suit and replaces its usual blather about vigil awareness discussions with staff editorials urging you to adopt Nexus dress.

Tuesday’s forecast: You, comrade, would look ravishing swaddled in newsprint and smeared with ink.