Opinion
Anyone who has stepped on campus recently must have noticed the insane amount of construction in progress. Everywhere you turn, there's another gigantic hole in the ground, or the steel skeleton of s...
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I watched a lot of television when I was a kid. My favorite show was "G.I. Joe." This program taught me almost everything I know about life. It taught me that it's okay to run around firing machine gu...
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This is the story of a man and his dog. Actually it is about one bitter senior and his small absent-minded schnauzer. What is on my mind is the recent and obnoxious influx of people back to this beaut...
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Staring red-eyed and perplexed into the gigantic black board, I realized of all the places in the world right now, this was where I wanted to be. It didn't matter that it was 2 a.m. or that I had just...
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Ah, back-to-school season. Before college, going to back to school was the worst time of year. It meant the end of warm, lazy days spent doing nothing at the beach.
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In my girlfriend's defense, I am rarely online. But I would like to expose what a degree from UCSB gets you these days. Her name is Dina Vainer, and yes, I promised her I would keep her identity ambig...
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Irishmen. They're everywhere, as you may now be aware. They're in our bars, our fat houses and our morning coffee. Clearly, the end of the world is upon us.
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For those of you reading this, chances are you are lucky enough to have made the correct decision to stay for the summer in our slum of a utopia -- or is it the other way around?
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Sellout! "Deep Throat" reveals his identity, and now here it is the end of the year, we have a new staff, I'm leaving, and perhaps you expect me to reveal mine too.
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Pathetic, flaky poop to the Faculty Legislature for its members' dismal attendance of the meeting to vote on the future of military recruiters on campus.
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It was while lying on a white, linen-covered aesthetician's table on State Street last Thursday when I realized that Santa Barbara was no longer the place for me. For the three years I had gone to sch...
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Over the past several days, there has been a healthy amount of press from the Nexus following up the successful year of the men's soccer program. In reading these articles, it dawned on me that little...
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A werewolf who definitely howled mid make-out
A performative male dressed as Tyler Durden
The mime that somehow made it hot and cool
The ghost of your situationship (no, it’s actually them)
Frat vampire, and your neck will be bleeding
The angel that has definitely never gone out
The literal devil
A prisoner with fake tattoos that you can pretend are real for the night
A sexy cowboy that definitely used the ride line at least four times
A Patrick Bateman who relates a little too much
The witch who asked for your zodiac sign first
A nurse who will leave you needing CPR
