Stomachs Rumble for a Del Taco

January 31, 2006 by

I've kept my silence on this subject long enough, dear readers, and it would be unfair - nay, criminal - for me to continue holding my peace. As someone with a social conscience and access to such a l...
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Avoid the Fuzz the Gauchos’ Way

January 27, 2006 by

In general, I am law-abiding to the point of being annoying to those around me: "Do you really want to smoke that?" "Are you aware that you are blatantly disobeying the posted speed limit?" "Yes, it's...
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If the Future Has You Stumped, It’s Time To Get Crunked

January 18, 2006 by

The plan for the rest of my life is due at the end of the quarter and I've been procrastinating rather badly on it. I mean, I've barely touched the thing and there's the deadline, hovering all big and...
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UCen Bookstore Undercuts Itself

January 10, 2006 by

You know what really grinds my gears? The UCSB Bookstore. Admittedly, this particular admission is not a revelation. It seems that anyone with the barest semblance of a soul that has had any sort of d...
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Why Resist Wonders of Technological Advancement?

November 1, 2005 by

PunkyBrister68: What should I write my column about? Megarde05: I dunno. Halloween? PunkyBrister68: I did that last week. Didn't you see it? Megarde05: Nope. What'd you say? PunkyBrister68: That every...
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Save Yourself The Effort, Just Throw on the Lingerie

October 27, 2005 by

Halloween is almost upon us once again. As I begin to bar my doors against the onslaught of drunkenness and debauchery surely to ensue this coming weekend, I find myself thinking about what you, my p...
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Go Shake “Old Man Snoring” Awake

October 24, 2005 by

Sometime between my semi-annual bike accident and my customary run-in with Pirate at I.V. Market, I got to thinking about unavoidable repetition. I've been at UCSB for a few years now and though I've ...
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T.V. Junkie Finds Her Niche

October 10, 2005 by

I have a tendency to categorize people. Sometimes just in my head during a lull in lecture, occasionally in a forum that has a readership of over 20,000 people.
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Simmer Down Now, Kids

October 4, 2005 by

Before allowing us to sign on the dotted line so that he might begin to take from us every dollar potentially earned this school year, the owner of the apartment building in which I now live solicited...
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Do I Know You From Somewhere?

September 27, 2005 by

Here we are, back in class, back in those uncomfortable desks, back to fighting to keep yourself awake during that post-lunch foray into your general education requirements. Just as inevitable as the ...
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