If I were a girl, I would definitely want to have sex with Franz Ferdinand. Not all at once of course - if I were a girl I'd had have some class - but boy do these chaps have a hold on the art of appe...
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When I think of the apocalypse, I first think of the sky. Whether it be frogs or stars or the sky itself, something will fall from it, I'm assured. In the past month, to me, the sky has shown itself t...
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"Hey you!" I say to the man in front of me in line. "Hey buddy!" I offer, as politely as humanly possible, to the robot I trail patiently on the bike path. "Hey slut!" I finally proclaim to the guy si...
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"I guess all you can really learn from a loss like that is to copy everything they do and do it yourself," UCSB men's basketball Head Coach Bob Williams said Feb. 5 after watching his Gauchos fall by ...
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Seven years later, UCSB Head Coach Bob Williams will step onto the UC Davis campus for the first time since he took the Aggies to a Division II National Championship.
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In hopes of erecting a Ratings Percentage Index (RPI) that is a more accurate reflection of NCAA Division I men's basketball teams this year, the folks in charge of the RPI fastened a few loose screws...
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It seems incongruent that a CEO of any company would warn his subsidiaries against profiteering. Margins are why we exist, right?
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Back in junior high, I used to rock these green and brown plaid No Fear shorts pretty much every day. By the end of my tenure at Orinda Intermediate School, they had assumed two holes, several menacin...
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Houston, we have a matchup problem. Our tank is dangerously low, our engine is shot and our back-up vessel is out for the season. The elements are just too much to handle.
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The world is an incredibly diverse place. I encourage everyone to dive headfirst into the ocean of possibilities that exist all around you. In particular, for the locals of Southern California, I want...
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If UCSB played on the East Coast, yesterday would have been known as Black Monday. But here in Santa Barbara, where everyone else has every reason to be jealous of us, people take their frustration ou...
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The UCSB women's tennis team ended their three-game losing streak yesterday by beating St. Mary's College of California at UCSB's RecCen courts. Santa Barbara won three singles points and the doubles ...
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In their last six games, everything from pitching to hitting to fielding has been clicking for the UCSB baseball team and the result has been one boisterous six-game winning streak.
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49ers wide receiver Terrell Owens might be as close to a fictional character as they come, but there was nothing funny about Owens' nonfictional blame game on Sunday.
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“No Chick-fil-A sauce?”
The Jojo Siwa dance
“It’s like I’m just partying every single weekend…”
“No sleep! Bus, club, another club”
"Baddie Baddie shot O’Clock"
“Berries and Cream…”
“Umm I never went to oovoo Javer”
“You spilled lipstick in my Valentino white bag”
“STOP, I could’ve dropped my croissant”
The Henry Danger memes
“Play Dress To Impress with my baddies”
“You are now one of my elite employees”
