Six-Inch Special
The 'human would like to congratulate Jared for his eventual victory for A.S. President.
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Opinion
The 'human would like to congratulate Jared for his eventual victory for A.S. President.
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I slammed my head down on the desk. "Are you fucking serious?" I thought. I was four minutes early. My hands were sweating - I wiped them on my pants. My jeans needed to be washed. Why the hell were m...
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I'm writing in response to Benjamin Wood's article ("Boycott for Workers' Rights," Daily Nexus, April 28). Mr. Wood's attempt to frame the "anti-immigration" segment of the debate presents a narrow-mi...
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The Arts & Lectures program needs to reexamine its priorities, and I would like to inform you of the misuse of its funding, against student interests. B.B. King is an American cultural icon, and the U...
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It seems that our favorite "longtime Isla Vista resident" is now angry with protesters who choose to wave flags other than American flags at immigrant rights rallies. Is there any right-wing bandwagon...
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Carrot Top is officially on my shit list. Back in early November, I decided to contact Mr. Top and request an interview. I was optimistic that the redheaded clown would accept my offer. Dreams of the ...
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As a child, I was taught proper gun safety. To this day, I can still remember this animated eagle telling me to never touch a gun and, if I saw one, to immediately notify an adult. My dad used to take...
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This week, the Women's Center has been hosting a number of events and workshops for Take Back the Night to promote awareness about sexual assault. On Tuesday night, I attended a workshop on self-defen...
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A Palestinian suicide bomber detonated himself inside a busy restaurant in central Tel Aviv last Monday, in the deadliest terrorist attack since 2004. Despite a high level of alert in Israel for the J...
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Today is your last chance to vote for A.S. elections. You know what that means, you apathetic slackers that haven't voted yet: It's time to vote 'human.
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As American controversy over immigration reaches a climax, we at UCSB must ask ourselves this important question - would Jared Goldschen or Romy Lea Frazier make a better A.S. President? That's my fir...
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I'm writing in response to James Baron's letter to the Nexus "The Dark Side Uses Footage of Halloween for Party Film" (Daily Nexus, April 26). I had never actually been to the website before he wrote ...
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Masturbation is universal: male or female, we all do it. However, when in an active sexual relationship with an actual human being, we find that the need to spank is not so pressing and is generally f...
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