Opinion

November 16, 2005

How to Tap That Teaching Ass-istant

By Nina Anthony

Why is it that a liaison with my TA is the only thing I can concentrate on in section? Of course, my fantasies are always a little far-fetched, mostly because if I took time to actually plot out the reality, I know I'd r...

November 16, 2005

Wal-Mart Rolls Back Employee Ethics in Pursuit of Profits

By Bill Shiebler

This opinion is in response to the article in Monday's Nexus about Wal-Mart ("Film Exposes International Effects of Wal-Mart Empire," Daily Nexus, Nov. 14). I wanted to share some additional information and also publiciz...

November 16, 2005

Troubled ‘Duke Nukem’ Masterbater Challenges All Females

By Brian Saso

I remember the first time I ever masturbated. It was more of an accident than anything. I remember playing a computer game called Duke Nukem at my uncle's house. I was probably around 12 years old at the time, young by m...

November 15, 2005

Silver Sleeper

By system

I don't know if you noticed yesterday in the Nexus, but we featured one of the funniest photos I've ever seen in my weatherlife. Seven or so silver seniors sat in front of a guy in a red hat, and in the background sat 10...

November 15, 2005

Rogue Inquiry Evades Prod

By Chris Trenchard

Answering a question with a question is generally considered poor etiquette - I call it "rogue questioning." If it's not an admission of guilt or error, it's an admission of stupidity. Sometimes though, if it is done wit...

November 15, 2005

Stop Santa Barbara’s Political Erosion

By Blake Beltram

The battle between the Santa Barbara leftists and the editorial section of the Santa Barbara News-Press needs to stop, for the betterment of this community. I am saddened and discouraged at the discourse between our comm...

November 15, 2005

Schnauzer Balls Made to Dangle, Not to Be Mangled

By Harrison Coltun

There comes a time in every pet owner's life when a decision must be made. No, not the "old age filled with arthritis or euthanasia" decision, but the "neuter or not" decision. Now most of you would go along with good ol...

November 15, 2005

Support Chicanos’ In Fight Against Rights Violations

By Emily Lu

I am writing as a concerned human being showing solidarity to our brothers and sisters around the world who are victims of human rights violations. I want to call everybody in the UCSB community to join the students from...

November 15, 2005

Electronic Math System Hinders More Than Helps

By Paul Clark

I am frustrated with the way WeBWork is run and how students are graded on their performances. WeBWork is a system used by some UCSB professors to allow students to turn homework in through an online system. A student is...

November 14, 2005

Anon-a-mouse

By system

The power of anonymity is scary. SCARY scary. I could pretty much write whatever I want right now, like, "I love Burt Bacharach" and you would have to just sit there and take it.

November 14, 2005

A Sad Supporting Cast

By Matt Cappiello

So we had a statewide election last Tuesday. You drunkards have already forgotten about it, haven't you? I decided not to run a piece last week, because a) I have so much badass cred around the Nexus that I can do that a...

November 14, 2005

UCSB Athletics Needs Student Support

By Larry Yells

On behalf of the thousands of alumni who closely follow Gaucho athletics, I

November 10, 2005

Hilton Clones Do it Better

By Nick Pasto

My friend swears that Fabio is a natural blonde and that his flowing golden locks aren't the result of extensive hair dye procedures. I disagree, which is why my friend and I frequently engage in life-threatening fisticu...

November 10, 2005

A High Schooling

By system

Just in case you didn't feel like enough of a slap-dick, the 'human is about to make you feel even worse about your weed addiction. A high school student won the race for mayor over the incumbent as a write-in in Hillsda...

November 10, 2005

UCSB Dining Commons Given Bad Wrap

By Alicia Woempner

I am an Ortega employee. That's right, I work at Ortega. Therefore, I must be a miserable, depressed person that hates my job and only works there because I take lots of drugs and dining services doesn't do a drug test. ...

November 9, 2005

Ejaculate Maturely

By Nina Anthony

I've been watching way too much "Nip/Tuck" and it has finally paid off. I've translated those countless hours into a column. On Nov. 1, we found three ladies saving their business with a signature product - anti-wrinkle ...